Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML
Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
CraneTG 0
Yes you should, cause there is nothing better than crispy bacon
saIty 17
Wow you should feel honored. That is one of the most complimentary compliment I have heard in my life. Be proud you know how to work it girl.
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Comments (340)
CraneTG 0
Yes you should, cause there is nothing better than crispy bacon
strokesie 23
I agree 100%
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips & Bacon Strips...
Horde 8
Definitely true! At least you came to the right place to ask this question XD
fthislyfe 22
I can't believe it! Nothing can be as awesome as crispy bacon.
babyyappld 7
I wish my boyfriend complimented me like that!
dcam13 19
This is like the first time the, "You Deserved It" button means a good thing. Ahaha definitely a compliment.
drunkinstl 0
Your as hot as sizzling bacon # 38
em1nem13 0
Quite true
tnlander 20
The only thing better than crispy bacon is endless crispy bacon.
BagleHead 6
Break up with him now; chewy bacon is the way to go...mmmmm fat......
CryMoreFMLs 15
Diced up bacon, egg and buttered toast makes the BEST breakfast sandwich ever. Especically diced crispy bacon... It's like a mouthgasm.
markusse 0
Youre as pathetic as rotten bacon
treborpj 5
Fact!
Yodaevil 4
Be glad he didn't compare going down on you to crispy bacon...
CabooseWins 0
67- There is no such thing as rotten bacon. That would mean that they didn't eat it all. Shame on them, for letting good bacon go to waste.
arlekin21 0
You should because crispy bacon is crispy
Alex94xela 0
Dayum As good as crispy bacon? Op must be a beast in the bedroom
proxxX069069 7
Alright then I don't have to worry ;]
iiloveeyouuxD 0
#6- I love themmm!
WoWziKi 2
With Jack Daniels sauce!
ShyAnn29 15
66, that's very very true! Now I'm hungry... "Who wants some beggin' strips?" "I'd get it myself but I don't have thumbs" "IT'S BACON!" that commercial was just on lol
theghost1309 11
Haha ya chewy bacon is way better.
enonymous 9
I wish my girlfriend had crispy bacon. By girlfriend I mean my hand...
capilot 10
Mmmmmm, bacon. p.s. Take dates, wrap them in bacon with a toothpick to hold it all together, and roast them in the oven. When you feed these to your boyfriend, he'll love you even more. And when you taste them, you'll love me for telling you this recipe.
notgoodatall 0
136. I hope someone comes up to you on the street and shoves bacon down your throat. And you choke and die on it.
baconstrips 12
Mmmmmmm, bacon :)
Cinn_fml 23
That was uncalled for, #152. Totally uncalled for.
ShyAnn29 15
I like chewy bacon better, but crispy is alright
Keyman1212 14
149- Dates are ******* gross.
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
**** you, BACON IS AMAZING!
bitchslapped22 14
Because bacon is awesome! All men love bacon
Eaglestrike117 29
Clearly, you've never had REAL crispy bacon.
HomeAl0ne 20
Well, chocolate coated crispy bacon would be better than just crispy bacon, but I don't know if OP would still rule. Do you swallow?
charlotte100 2
We're in the minority but I prefer chewy bacon too. Crispy bacon is too crunchy and burnt.
Driveshaft 5
Do you have any idea how important bacon is to a man? HUGE complement!!
kbobcat 0
1) BACON STRIPS & BACON STRIPS & BACON STRIPS & BACON STRIPS 2) bacon is the single most greatest thing in the world 3) you should feel very complimented that sex is close enough to even compete with bacon
DoubleDose 0
hey it's better than being told that sex with you is like eating a blue waffle.
loroxe 6
No I think it was perfectly appropriate, screw you vegipests
AMagicalLeoplura 0
yay i got the 400th like on the first comment
Cinn_fml 23
Loroxe (#213) - If that was aimed towards my comment that told someone that it was inappropriate to hope that a vegetarian choked and died on a piece of bacon someone shoved down their throat, then you're wrong. For two reasons. Ever consider it's annoying for the veggies to be told what to eat too? You don't have to be veggie to realise that. I'm probably going to get modded for remembering the three posts in question, but oh well. *Looks innocent*
TheSchizoPsycho 5
No bacon sucks monkey cocks.
scrapmetal58 9
5149 - You feed your bf your dates! :O I've heard of eating out a date, not eating them... Canadian bacon?
togie429 0
It's funny because it's true
Foppe 9
I was about to say the same, #1 :)
punkin_26 16
all that missing in your bacon strips is some jack daniels
punkin_26 16
76-yeah huge difference-that would be an insult
kitsunedemon1 2
That's nasty
amazingman60 0
Yess
bigman300_fml 0
yes there is. unlimited crispy Bacon
ahhdorablepeach 0
To men? Women too!!
saIty 17
Wow you should feel honored. That is one of the most complimentary compliment I have heard in my life. Be proud you know how to work it girl.
EvilPotato 15
She knows how to work it like crispy bacon.
FlipInBrosky 4
Bacon is awesome
onthetoilet 3
I think she should wash down there, especially if it's crunchy
Mewzakuro240 0
87- Wait... You mean she smells funny and has a penis?
thantomaniac 0
doesn't matter, had bacon.
TheSchizoPsycho 5
Lol! Bestallday!!!
Emoney1 3
I'm pretty sure he just proposed to you. Did you say yes?
Perdition 4
You should tell him he feels as thick as a piece of bacon. :)
Beebow_fml 5
That's pretty thin...
woody768 0
I think that's the point...
WiderWille 11
But that would be mean :O
Plaasmaa 4
He complemented her,why should she insult him back?
CDABXXX 5
9-I think that was the joke.
otb113 7
be a good girlfriend and ask him if he wants to eat crispy bacon WHILE you two have sex
IfTheKeyFits 3
He'd have the best of both worlds. :D
imcutefml 0
This guy is a genius :O!
ashhxoxo 14
Agreed. :D
callmedaddy702 0
You are a motha ****** genius!
yadisingh 5
You think he'd be able to handle the amazing-ness? I mean... sex... WITH BACON? I give him 2 minutes.
kewlstoribro 6
Lol I say put bacon down there before he gives you oral :D
UrLyfSuxx 0
The only thing better then cripsy bacon, is sex with crispy bacon.
shooterbuddy 8
Hope he's not eating you out and thinks you taste like bacon
shanatilly89 11
Haha I thought the same thing :)
perdix 31
Why not? He'd never stop! As far as the crispy part is concerned, she could put some edible lube on her chapped lips, and they'd be good to go.
False_Stupidity 42
I wish my girl tasted like bacon down there...
fristinkristin 16
Well bacon taste better than a pussy so yea
jobsman99 0
Get some bacon flavored edible lotion to rub on your nipples and pussy and he will love it. He will lick you to a bacon flavored ****** any time you want.
emodude44 0
You know, a friend and I had a discussion about that last night. I said if pussy tasted like bacon, I'd eat it all day long.
SOBE24 1
well then you never had crispy bacon before. lol
Maito_fml 1
That might be the best compliment a girl can get. Be proud!
RaineLee 5
Crispy bacon is delicious! ;) Your boyfriend is a keeper.
mofuckaa 0
hi