Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML
Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
CraneTG 0
Yes you should, cause there is nothing better than crispy bacon
saIty 17
Wow you should feel honored. That is one of the most complimentary compliment I have heard in my life. Be proud you know how to work it girl.
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Comments (340)
d3n1n4_fml 5
Probably a good thing....crispy bacon rocks!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'd take it as a compliment. Crispy bacon is awesome!!!
h0ward076 0
that's love!!
Raheemdplayer 7
Bacon isn't even the best meat ffs! It's all about lamb! *OP Frowns* oh errm.... but bacon is still good, really good in fact!
Hammer940 7
That may be the single best thing ever said to a woman.
arin2009 0
So your fantastic at sex then!!!! 90% love crispy bacon!!!!
emodude44 0
Sex is the biological equilivant to eating chocolate. You, are the biological equilivent to bacon. I dunno about you, but I like bacon better than chocolate.
Levvy 22
Wha? How could you even imagine this is anything less than high praise? I'm a vegetarian who doesn't even eat the stuff, and I still say without hesitation (from past experience) that crispy bacon is a heavenly treat.
sailorfreak_fml 4
maybe you smelled like bacon?
g33ch 1
Mmmmm.. Bacon...