Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML
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Top comments
Jonkbaby 23
As a guy, that's a compliment of the most primal order
Xavier Valdez_1348683886 9
It's a good thing lol
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Comments (12)
Xavier Valdez_1348683886 9
It's a good thing lol
Jonkbaby 23
As a guy, that's a compliment of the most primal order
RichardPencil 32
Wow, you really don't know men. If you get half the praise and attention that food gets, you're doing great!
Kristen Bauer 14
Yes that is an excellent thing. You should marry the person who gives you the same feeling walking into the room as when your food arrives at a restaurant.
mayaklast 12
Well, if the restaurant is a McDonald, which seems implied here, it's debatable. I mean 'you're like fastfood to me' (or 'you make me think of limp lettuce, sandwiched between school cafeteria grade meat, sickly sweet sauce and slightly dry bread') is not something which I would take for a compliment. But to each their own, I suppose... ^^
Kristen Bauer 14
You should marry the person who gives you the same feeling walking into the room as when your food arrives at a restaurant.
diraven 15
Was there bacon on it?
Mary Hillhouse 3
I want a man who looks at me the way he looks at a good burger. For that matter, I want a man that I look at that way, too.
Wadlaen 24
As many of the comments above has said: That's a good thing! The sight of your naked body gives him the same mouth-watering experience as delicious food - there's probably some way you can take advantage of this😜
BurnInDemonFire 39
It's good! It means he wants to devour you!
Jennifer Cunningham 4
definitely a good thing!