Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML
Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we have sex." He thinks that's a compliment. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML
Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CraneTG 0
Yes you should, cause there is nothing better than crispy bacon
saIty 17
Wow you should feel honored. That is one of the most complimentary compliment I have heard in my life. Be proud you know how to work it girl.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (340)
lmaoatall 6
Well if your as good as bacon, tell him you want a blt (boy licks taco), hold the mayo!
krysxkatastrophe 14
Crispy bacon is the shit! Take it as a delicious compliment.
GL1TCH3D 0
Crispy bacon is very high up on the mouth ****** chart. Not much beats it. Whatever you're doing, he likes xD
Shadow_Phantom 26
I guess you should feel complimented, since apparently bacon is a god among foods. I don't really like bacon at all, though. Especially crispy... at least have it be edible.
drewag86 0
Change your stupid pic. You obviously claim to be satanic just so you can seem to be different. Guess what your a loser like all of your other goth retard friends. True followers of Satan tend not to brag about it.
ReynshineCutting 10
60- Don't worry. She'll go to hell for it one day. Although as twisted as satanists are, they might actually enjoy burning for eternity.
dragonstrike94 8
Hey... Not cool
Zeronos 0
Crispy bacon completes any balanced breakfast just like how you comeplete his now balanced heart. Marry him.
that_nerdy_sock 3
Guys like bacon! It is a compliment! Don't be so judgmental!!bacon's the best :)
brianod 0
well...crispy bacon is quite delicious...
Cinn_fml 23
If he really loves his crispy bacon, then yes, yes you should.
manhands21 6
i climax at the mention of crispy bacon. best compliment ever.
batman_516 9
Mmmmmm...Bacon Sex.