Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teasing my boyfriend telling him that my butt was so much cuter than his and that at least mine wasn't smelly stinky or hairy. Then he said yeah, I just wish that your vag was the same way. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML
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Top comments
mattc1213 12
Who knows these days!
StickyPickles 33
A dog's mouth is full of bacteria just like any other damp wet space. . Google it
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Comments (122)
mattc1213 12
Who knows these days!
rileyrae0000 23
Well considering the things that go in/around a dog's mouth, I would hope someone's ****** is cleaner
RealSuperSand 21
48, considering the things that go in and around some vaginas, I wouldn't be so sure.
kangx1 28
Not a compliment. Dogs lick anything and everything. The amount of Bacteria in there mouth is insane. So their mouths are very dirty.
rileyrae0000 23
You have a point, but I'm hoping OP isn't nasty. I could very well be wrong, especially if her boyfriend is comparing it to a dog's mouth.
Swandive235 27
Dogs lick their balls, vaginas also come into contact with balls. Maybe that's the connection there.
countryb_cth 38
dogs also eat their own shit
Jak0p 25
dogs also eat the shit of humans.
annarcheer 19
Well apparently dogs mouths are cleaner then humans so I really don't know.
mariah_1_11 22
That is so not correct. Have you seen the kinds of things dogs put in their mouth?
domolovesyoshi 33
Hence the apparently part
weswheatley 14
A dogs saliva cleans itself, sure dogs lick assholes, but so do humans, while we use store bought cleaning utensils, they just have their spit
MrSassypants 34
"Sure dogs lick assholes, but so do humans." #35, what kind of people do you usually hang around for asshole licking to be that common?
BI4ze 17
Actually, a dog's mouth has less bacteria than that of a human's mouth.
muzy 23
I keep hearing this notion of dogs' mouths being more clean than humans. Even if that is the case, it doesn't mean that they don't have any pathogens residing in their mouths.
fifi125 21
Dogs have antibacterial properties in their saliva, it's pretty clean :)
doctordonna 4
It's a myth that dogs saliva cleans itself. dogs mouths are definitely not cleaner than a humans. And human bites always end in infection? um no, that's definitely not true.
Catdragon 40
my dog eats others feces, tears up used pads, laps up loogies and snot, chews on toenail clippings, eats hers and others vomit, and who knows what else she eats outside.
lishabear 21
Ugh #75, I was eating...
slackerjoe 22
ive licked my girls ass more than once so..... in my world, common.
amanda182 19
#59.. Who knows who he hangs out with, but there is a song that says "eat the booty like groceries". So some people do in fact, eat ass.
lily05_fml 16
I am guessing that is sarcasm?
Tacogamer20 14
Mouthwash time!
Selene1090 26
Erm, that seems dangerous and painful...
pete9913 23
I would assume he means it as a compliment, just a very awkward one in my opinion.
ellisp1 15
Is it as clean as a dogs mouth? If not, get a dog...
Ih8teenageangst 20
That is so gnarly.
ceelos97 16
Ya its a compliment, dogs mouths are cleaner than humans
sirrubberduckie 37
That's a myth. Look it up.
nitemastr15 17
#50, it's actually not a myth. I actually did this as a project for science. A dogs mouth has different bacteria made to clean it out. Now dog teeth have more plaque than a humans, but their mouth is genrally cleaner.
StickyPickles 33
A dog's mouth is full of bacteria just like any other damp wet space. . Google it
devildog562 33
Still better then a humans mouth though . True fact .
beeferjay 34
dogs' mouths don't contain sticky pickle germs, lol
summergirl69 16
Than*
OfficialKJRoss_ 2
It's filled with bacteria, but it's helpful bacteria that keeps your mouth clean.
UncleCaitlyn 21
Dogs mouths are supposedly one of the cleanest parts on them
alvarny 17
he's not understanding the word puasy
whysobeachy 37
I don't know what the word "puasy" means, either.