Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
whiteboy7thst 2
So he has that long of a penis? Stop complaining..
plebeianFelix 5
that's a lofty goal, you should be proud of him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (200)
ninjasaurous 0
NO, he can make a pretzel shape. He can make a penis pretzel stick.
Saam143 0
Who blew up the balloon?;)
yrkamurka 4
sounds.... hard to do
sonny2john 8
Lucky you must be a big boy
chelseaaababyyy 17
that would be awesome if he could
toqwert 0
that's not an fml, that's a win!!! if he succeeds...
iloooovemylife 7
Idk if you should be proud or worried
dgurl 0
Wow I'm sorry u hv to deal with that! But that is halarious!!!
sheethapins 13
Read the FML again, and the answer will surly reveal itself...
sheethapins 13
Time well spent.