Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
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Top comments
whiteboy7thst 2
So he has that long of a penis? Stop complaining..
plebeianFelix 5
that's a lofty goal, you should be proud of him.
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Comments (200)
fakeaccountX 6
That is simply not possible unless you're Ron Jeremy.
jazzybaby179 22
Mmm pretzels!
tybtab 5
i have i can make a giraffe
ArielTheMermaid 17
I don't even understand how that works....
hillary6 15
did you blow his balloon before then?
perdix 31
Rub a lot of coarse salt on it. That'll make it a proper pretzel.
ringer_6 0
I think real sex on hbo had something on that. quite a tallent. just imagine what elastic man could do lol.
markrs 0
I can make a sword.
gravy4u 5
I wonder how much pain it would have cause if he was successful... Or if it knots =X
TheJester12 15
this attempt will MOST DEFINITLY end up on tosh. 0 and I look forward to the day that it does .
properbostonian 5
. . . Wow I've never seen 10 pack abs