Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
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Top comments
whiteboy7thst 2
So he has that long of a penis? Stop complaining..
plebeianFelix 5
that's a lofty goal, you should be proud of him.
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Comments (200)
SexyQueen0905 24
Ouch!
ihatemekay 6
Be Proud if he succeeds .
Calyx_fml 22
Oddly, the way this was written I thought he was using his penis to tie the balloons into animals. Now THAT would be impressive.
MrPositive 0
That's what I was thinking. It doesn't seem right either way
ihasbekoala 5
That's what I thought too. I almost googled it to try and find a video
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Four hours? Obviously your boyfriend doesn't have the equipment or the talent to pull it off. He should just make a dog out of it and make it lick your face.
Sweet_Testicles 7
At least it's long enough
Wheredidgrungego 12
What a guy. I commend him.
sourgirl101 29
Did he make you blow it first?(:
properbostonian 5
This IS NOT an FML... he must have a huge dick!
bigarat10 0
Yummy!
rouge1313 0
this site is sux fml for using it
ryanst 7
Then.. Stop using it? No wait, that won't solve anything.. Just keep on complaining about the website you're on, that'll definitely get you somewhere.