Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me and decided it'd be funny to blow raspberries in my crotch. He literally thought it was the funniest thing ever. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
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Top comments
senor_octubre 24
Every mans dream. I mean uh....that sucks. I mean blows. I'll just go now.
firefox9778 20
Well that's some information you could've gone without. Who knows, maybe he was hinting at something?
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Comments (95)
ad1836 19
Lmao
ilovesoccer1610 31
*ayy lmaooo
Imnotreallyblack 10
lmdo if you know what I mean
Natsu_Salamander 8
Wow, that takes some serious skill
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Where did my response go?? I was #3!
Csoi 28
Guess you were never here.
friedpwnadge 25
I won't lie, I've done it too. Not easy.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I'm jealous and I don't even have a wiener! But how exactly is this an fml?
gothiccookies 10
The only FML I see is F -his- L that he only used to be able to!
xdafuze 12
"used to"
h00tzForOsi 20
Who would want to lose such a skill?
doraquiexplore 13
I have a friend who's only been able to do it once when he was like 10, you have to be pretty flexible I mean I don't see how this is an FML a lot of guys I know have attempted to
Dirtbiker989 6
Because if he were still able to, idk if he would still be dating.
firefox9778 20
Well that's some information you could've gone without. Who knows, maybe he was hinting at something?
thubbz 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hinting at what? If sucking you're own dick is gay then so is masturbating because basically You're giving a hand job
Kiernan151 25
I think 35, he meant hinting at getting a bj from OP
TheRussianNavy 11
#35...*******...From a woman. Not gay.
Feklfekl2222 32
I don't see how this isn't funny, not really an FML. Maybe if he'd followed it up with 'and that's how I know how inadequate you are in the wiener sucking department' but even then, could be funny depending on tonr
senor_octubre 24
Every mans dream. I mean uh....that sucks. I mean blows. I'll just go now.
trex454 21
i use to be as well.
hdamon32 12
question of the day: is it gay to suck yourself off?
Scotth901 22
Yes but I live in San Francisco where everyone is gay so it's probably ok, even tho I'm not
tyler_the_asiann 16
Every guy has TRIED that at least once. Don't lie
TreeBeard123 5
Oh so you Asians really are that kinky then? XD
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Shhhh, revealing such secrets violates guy code #242.
thisguy22 33
Yea no... I've never tried to. I've no problem talking about my weird kinks, but trying to blow myself was never one of them.
Tomryan279 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Only a gay person would try to do this.
HitmanKillsYou 13
yeah no. thats disgusting.
tj4234 36
#55. Considering a "gay act" would require two people of the same gender, this is technically masturbation. Everyone does that regardless of their sexual orientation.
crudeandrudeguy 29
55- The people who are so quick to judge others sexuality are normally the people who aren't that confident in their own. FYI
abbyade 21
And what was your response/reaction? I don't know what I would've done if I was in your shoes. I will be amazed he was flexible enough. But will be concerned why he felt the need to suck his thingy. Quite disturbing but I'm curious!
Guy1009 15
Puberty makes men very curious and horny...
gopackgo97 13
that's not far fetched at all, you'd understand
GrainHauler 9
Thingy......I got nothing
Scotth901 22
Sucking your own Dick instead of fapping is like using a *****/vibrator instead of your hand. It's just a change, if you are able to do it ;)
NightOWL666 14
That sucks OP. But at least now you know he's not just with you for ********