Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrived. As we were going at it, he shat on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML
Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML
Today, I finally made a move on the guy I've been crushing on for years… by getting so drunk that I puked in his lap. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I found out a recent hook-up, who’d pounded the fuck out of me until I came all over didn’t get uncomfortable and ghost me “because he was just a fuck boy.” It was probably because a noticeable, large part of the sweat/squirt spot on my bed after, was actually my own piss, I just didn’t smell it. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, I met up with a guy who I've hooked up with 2-3 times before. He gives amazing head. I was sitting on my couch and he was on his knees on the floor in front of me. He was doing his thing, it was incredible and all of a sudden, I didn't even feel it coming, I farted on his chest. FML
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Top comments
tokintot07 0
well don't **** him if he's drunk. i hope you made him clean it up.
eeeeeeee 5
You 'finally got to?' You sound like a child who's just been allowed to go to the amusement park for the first time. Quit placing so much importance on hooking up with idiots.
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Comments (132)
CronosDage 0
ydi
FMLFML123123 0
WTF why would she deserve it!?
In_your_face 0
who said it was a she
Averizzle 0
Because she should of let him sober up a little at least..
reyemrein 0
when he's passed out, drive him out to the highway, put him in a dog carrier with a "free to good home" sign on it. I gaurantee you'll feel better
Snow_Daisy 7
I agree with #1. Next time maybe you'll think twice about taking advantage of another human being while they're drunk.
silentfog 0
she took advantage of him
yourlifesfucked 0
she didnt take dvantage of him. she still deserves it though for ******* a drunk guy. shes just lucky he didnt puke on her face or something
12321 0
for hooking up with some drunky, you must be desperate
thinmint 0
13 ftw!
SmellDaPurp 0
OP deserves it because if she was hot he wouldnt have had to be drunk to sleep with her.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Everyone has been a little harsh but mostly right. Why would you even let things get that far with a drunk man? Would it be okay for a man to that to a drunk woman? You earned that shit.
isreal 0
why were you ******* on a white carpate
honestlove11 0
haaa that's so nasty, make him pay for a good carpet cleaning and convince him he promised and just doesn't remember due to being drunk.
idkwtfbbq 3
there's only one persons gender mentioned - why is everyone assuming this is a guy and a girl.
rldostie 19
I agree. if the person is so drunk they're ******** on the floor, they're FAR too drunk to give consent. If a guy took advantage of a woman in that state, people have no problem calling it rape. Why should it be any different if the drunk person is a man?
reyemrein 0
@72: maybe because 99% of people are heterosexual. I'm not discriminating in fact I live in MA but I'm just saying that boy/girl is a safe assumption to make.
majones 0
This gives the phrase, "shit happens," a whole different meaning.
flinga 0
ANAL sex IS. SO. GROSS! I think this was 2 guys...
emilily23421 0
has anyone thought OP is gay.... I thought that was obvious. I mean, ******* the shit out of the guy? duh.
Secret_Fire_King 0
Hell Yeah, she deserves it.. Date Rapist..
shadowkiss13 0
o calm down #100 itz not that weird nowadays i have some gay friends, although im not into that but hey dnt descriminate
SaturnE_fml 0
I agree. You took advantage of a drunk.
RileyTheCoyote 6
Anal sex is gross? Look at your face.
AshleyLuvsFrank 12
Agreed. 100%.
spaceghost1331 0
Das nasty...ha!
Bewitched_fml 0
lol that's a sh**ty situaition (no pun intended)
jinky58 0
her reputation is soiled now.
Eddie_Paints 0
YDI for being a dirty *****!
elchiclebubalu 2
ydi for being a ****** ****
pepper3434 0
I agree with this person! ^^^^
KotaPuppy 0
Lol "soiled" hahahahaahahahahahhhhahahahasshshahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaaahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahaaahahahahshahhahahahaahahahaha
anmolrulz 0
nastyy
albinomustang 0
YDI for using "was" (past) and "arrives" (present) in the same sentence.
tokintot07 0
well don't **** him if he's drunk. i hope you made him clean it up.
theian01 3
Stick his nose in it before you make him clean it up. He'll learn we do that OUTSIDE!
apfunction 0
maybe she'll learn not to rape a drunk guy on her nice carpet. she deserved to have shit on her floor, I hope she gets aids from him.
joeblownc 0
does no one understand this was a guy fuking another guy?!
peece 0
I don't think that that's physically possible…
mikeyceroooo 0
that's shit white carpet for the win!!!
fisheatsbear 6
it ain't white no more
bNMitchell 0
honestly don't have sex with a guy when they're drunk . nothing ever turns out pretty. I hope you got the stains out. I would on his ass.
iDollFace 0
eeeewwwwww! take a sh*t on his porch infront of the door next time.
Heartbreakher 0
agree haha. costa rica ftw.
gabirolon 1
hi idollface, I c ur pic, r u crican... I was born and raised there...
CantWeAllGetAlon 0
ydi for not being able to wait to have sex n having it with a drunk guy wen your sober. rapist
heeheehoo 0
take a used pad and smear it on his white furniture. unless you're a gay.
eeeeeeee 5
You 'finally got to?' You sound like a child who's just been allowed to go to the amusement park for the first time. Quit placing so much importance on hooking up with idiots.