Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML
Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML
Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
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Top comments
whiteboy7thst 2
So he has that long of a penis? Stop complaining..
plebeianFelix 5
that's a lofty goal, you should be proud of him.
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Comments (200)
Beckpatton 13
Sounds like your guy has been watching Puppetry Of The Penis, my girlfriends got me a puppet master to perform at my hen's party, it was hysterical!!! Like others have said, if he's got enough there to even attempt a pretzel, it's not FML but F Your Boyfriend! :-)
sakforduc 0
only thing I can make my penis look like is a 10 inch rod lol!
Reaper411 2
that's funny
cubsrock2 0
I can make my penis look like a penis..
AbusedTampon 6
He must have a good amount of dough to make a pretzel.
MaJiN_fml 2
I want a bicycle.
sexxme 9
haha he should try making it a bomb next, so it can be blown away(;
IndigoAcrylic 9
Uh..... OUCH xD
IndigoAcrylic 9
Uh..... OUCH xD
missemalythecat 0
I would guess that what he was attempting to do is physically impossible...