Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to use a sex toy on him. Am I in the wrong relationship? FML
Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I hope you pointed angrily at his hand.
chocolatefrog28 29
Tell him he's actually the other man, and you're already in a meaningful relationship with your vibrator but you're willing to be friends with benefits.
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Comments (205)
supersquirel500 10
I'd be jealous of that vibrator too.
itwasalongnight 10
Annnnd your boyfriend is an idiot... Sorry OP. Hold up his hand and tell him if he thinks your vibrator constitutes cheating, his hand is now off limits.
beckshniddley 10
I really want OP to comment and clarify. I mean this guy must **********! And if he didn't he would make a point in telling her.
FlyingPie 17
I'm sure he'd like to have the upper hand.
tjw1616 21
cute ^_^ & oh so very weird lol I'd investigate this matter
rocker_chick23 27
There is nothing cute about a man getting pissed that his girlfriend masturbates.
worldclassrager 41
Did you shoot back his right arm is cheating as well?
Dynosaur_dollie 38
Funny how everyone is assuming he masterbates, there are men and women who don't. With her luck she'd say something about using his hand only to find out he doesn't... I'd be ditching him for invading my privacy and snooping through draws, sounds like some trust issues and insecurity that I wouldn't want to deal with personally.
Dkman 11
Point to his hands and say "those are too." Sorry he's a suspicious prick op
mchmelev1993 10
I mean if he wants to get creative here let him mold a ***** for you with his own size. Smfh
dawnimus 21
I don't know why this is getting thumbed down - some men are insecure about vibes/****** because they feel inadequate in terms of size (even if it's nonsense, although tbh some are totally unrealistically huge). Moulding an exact replica means they can't get upset about it being bigger than they are.
grgnyce 8
Time to cut your losses, OP