Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to use a sex toy on him. Am I in the wrong relationship? FML
Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I hope you pointed angrily at his hand.
chocolatefrog28 29
Tell him he's actually the other man, and you're already in a meaningful relationship with your vibrator but you're willing to be friends with benefits.
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Comments (205)
dudeperfect101 6
I agree
MJJ690 5
A vibrator!! He's a lucky guy ;)
Urpoppy 21
You need to break up with this narrow-minded fool.
sammyjo06 14
Break up now. Seriously. I'm not just saying that....This guy sounds like he could potentially be dangerous. Someone that out of touch with reality is not safe to be around. You say this is the first time he was over -- assuming you don't just have your vibrator lying on the table, that means he immediately went to snooping in your drawers as soon as you left the room. Then he finds your vibrator and "angrily" presents you with the evidence of your "cheating"? Leave now, while you still can.
ZodiacalComa7 11
He looked through your stuff! :/
ViviMage 40
Okay, ditch the vibrator! You can't use it, you must cheat on another man if he isn't around! Same with his hand!
DreamToBeCured 5
First if all, what is he going through your stuff for? That's immature.
Tomieray 4
Cheating? More like foreplay.
Tressa1982 18
wow! he'd be royally pissed to date me then cuz I own five vibes and use multiple at once on occasions..OK multiple toys multiple occasions lol
nathanzbbygirl 7
WTF