Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to use a sex toy on him. Am I in the wrong relationship? FML
Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I hope you pointed angrily at his hand.
chocolatefrog28 29
Tell him he's actually the other man, and you're already in a meaningful relationship with your vibrator but you're willing to be friends with benefits.
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Comments (205)
vikky538 29
show him his hand and ask him one and only one question..."aren't you?" ...he will never ask such a stupid question again...
NPN_Scorpio 16
Dan Savage: "Masturbation isn't cheating. It's routine maintenance."
graphicstyle7 17
When I was... really young and immature, for some reason I thought a guy masturbating was "cheating". I thought he should be consumed by love for me and never want to do anything with anyone else, including himself. I am so embarrassed about that now. Your boyfriend needs to grow the f up. He's pretty sheltered/repressed/naïve.
TheBookWyrm 18
Dump him. He's an idiot.
carmagnet 11
Try getting him to use it on you for foreplay. He could just be insecure and think that the toy may be better than he is. (If that is the case, hide it where he can't find it and bring it out on special occasions) You never know eventually he could warm up to the idea and you could both have a lot of fun. My boyfriend was a bit intimidated but I tried this with him now my pleasure comes first and he even buys me new ones every so often. He really enjoys what it can do to me.
carmagnet 11
Or buy one of the make your own kits and use him as the model. Then he can't accuse you of cheating.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
It's to use together then it's not cheating. Duh.
Omniprism 15
He's a dumbass. How are you supposed to know what feels good if you don't play. Playing makes you more in the mood for him. Lastly you two could have fun with the toy. I hope he comes (pun intended) around for you.
hurryHM 10
i would also gift my gf one of those. its better to use it rather than asking some other out
fohfuu 9
That is a BIG warning sign, trust me. That's a sign of seriously low self-esteem and/or controlling behaviour...you really need to talk it through with him.