Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend secretly using my hair straightener while I was in the other room. Too embarrassed to talk to him about it, I left and came back later, only to discover him slipping on a pair of my panties. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML
Today, I came home to find my boyfriend playing with himself. He got mad and said I "killed the mood". How? By coming home. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to use a sex toy on him. Am I in the wrong relationship? FML
Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I hope you pointed angrily at his hand.
chocolatefrog28 29
Tell him he's actually the other man, and you're already in a meaningful relationship with your vibrator but you're willing to be friends with benefits.
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Comments (205)
slyde32 12
why is everyone saying he's in the wrong for snooping? he didn't look in her drawers, he was in the bathroom with her when she left, that sounds to me like they were about to have a shower. if I can't find soap, the first place I look is the cupboard in the bathroom. it could be something as innocent as that, that said if I was staying at my girlfriends house for the first time, I'd wait till she'd returned first.
jbuckets_404 39
#83: She "left him in the bedroom ...."
slyde32 12
you're right, I retract my previous statement, I read this just as I woke after night shift, reading it with one eye shut, granted I still feel silly now
LeoMidas 1
I can't believe no one has mentioned the fact that she's using a toy and not her hand, that's not an equal situation. Him using her hand and her using her hand is equal; him using a toy and her using a toy is equal. The equivalent would be if he owned and used something like a fleshlight. Calling it "cheating" is of course stupid, because she has the right to pleasure herself any way she sees fit. But I can and do understand the feelings of jealousy and possibly inadequacy he may have experienced - especially if the toy was bigger.
squideth 18
Then you're just as terrible as OP's bf. good luck in future relationships with those trust issues.
drayloon 50
Is his hand cheating too?
beckshniddley 10
I think if he didn't ********** or watch **** which many people do he would have told her by now.
TrinityNevada 11
I'm hoping it was sitting out somewhere rather than hidden away because if it were hidden away, that means he went through your stuff. I'd be tempted to tell him that going through your things was a dealbreaker and that it's impossible for you to cheat since you were now SINGLE. ;-) I personally don't think a vibrator/anything you'd use to ********** is cheating unless it prevented one of you from wanting to have sex with the other. Ug - just remembered an ex who took it upon himself to go through mythings, pull out my vibrator and fully expected me to be excited about the idea of him "incorporating" it into sex so he could jam it in me as I sucked him. Actually told me, "Now you don't have to use it alone because we can make it special now!" No. Just no. Totally ruined it for me. Completely
carmagnet 11
They do have a kit you can buy to take a mold of someone's member. I'm not sure if my boyfriend would be happy if I had one that I had done of my ex's and used it. I can see that one maybe being seen as cheating.
Reality_bites 14
Id be dumping his ass. If he is already going through your things now (I'm assuming it wasn't in plain sight as otherwise I'm sure this conversation would have come up sooner), this isn't going to stop anytime soon. It will only escalate - to your phone and computer - and soon you wont be able to look sideways at a guy or go out with your friends without him accusing you of cheating andor wanting to know where you are. This guy has massive trust/insecurity issues and nothing you say or do will change it, it will just break you.
jbuckets_404 39
I agree!
NykP 25
I sell toys and from what I've seen most men encourage their women to have toys. Maybe if you get him something he can use with you he will get more comfortable with your personal use one.
Duggie1339 13
Well he overexagerated but if you get mad at him for jacking it to pornography...
maxyinwonderland 6
Insecurity at its best
xebi 4
Red flag, OP. Sorry but going through your private stuff at the first opportunity, apparently seeing so little wrong with that that he was ok bringing it straight up, THAT level of insecurity and possessiveness and the temper thing all point to something pretty nasty.