Today, I'm seven weeks pregnant. For the first time in a week, I feel well enough to eat something that isn't Cheerios, a bagel, or crackers. I woke up two hours after going to bed with the shits. I'm almost convinced this kid hates me already. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I am 8 weeks pregnant. I have debilitating 'morning sickness' all day. And now I get to add peeing my pants every time I throw up. FML
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Today, at 7 months pregnant, I have come to accept the morning sickness isn’t going to ease off. It’s so severe that I don’t make my meal choices based on calories or even cravings, rather on how bad it’ll taste when it comes back up. FML
Today, I'm six weeks pregnant and so far I've had more naps than I've had in my entire adulthood. My last pregnancy I got put on sick leave, partly because I was so exhausted. Here we go again. FML
Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant and dealing with severe morning sickness. Not to worry though, it should get better at 14 weeks, right after I get back from my honeymoon. FML
Today, I'm two months pregnant and can only seem to eat plain food consisting of mostly cheese. Now I’m constipated and haven’t pooped in two days. FML
Today, I'm 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long, 12-hour drive. FML
Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML
Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML
Today, at 6 weeks pregnant, I went to the ER in the middle of the night for severe abdominal pain, fearing an ectopic pregnancy. Turns out it was just a wayward turd. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
This isn't the plan we agreed on, Damien. How are we supposed to rule the world if you're only giving your mom the *****? Donald, Kim, and Vlad are doing their parts, so you do yours, or no deal.
BurnInDemonFire 39
33 weeks until the Rapture. You heard it here first, folks. Kidding! Wishing good health to you and yours.
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Comments (13)
BurnInDemonFire 39
This isn't the plan we agreed on, Damien. How are we supposed to rule the world if you're only giving your mom the *****? Donald, Kim, and Vlad are doing their parts, so you do yours, or no deal.
crazycrochetlady 12
It's only week 7 got 33 more to go.
BurnInDemonFire 39
33 weeks until the Rapture. You heard it here first, folks. Kidding! Wishing good health to you and yours.
maroongrad 13
Pregnancy is not fun! Hang in there momma....second trimester is a whole lot easier. And of course your kid doesn't hate you yet. He/She isn't a teenager!
crazycrochetlady 12
This is my third pregnancy. My other two were so much easier. I have stayed sick this time around. Some days I'm good, some days I'm sick in the morning only unless I eat something that doesnt agree with me, and then theres the days where if anyone comes near me with food I'm gonna puke on them.
Itsbeenalong 5
Whaaa whaaa whaaa, maybe you shouldn't have gotten pregnant if you can't handle a bit of *****!
mikbrooke 25
... being pregnant doesnt normally coincide with 'the *****'. the food is just something that has disagreed with her belly after not being able to eat anything but bland food for a while. 🤷♀️
Itsbeenalong 5
🤦♀️ no but babies usually bring with them a lot of shit. if OP can't cope with her own how's she going to cope with a babies!
raven_of_azarath 35
There’s a huge difference between having the ***** and cleaning a baby’s shit.
colderthanyou 15
Supposedly being super sick is a sign of a healthy baby... I think they say that to make us feel better
ManitobaCanada 2
My wife was terribly sick for the whole pregnancy...