Anonymous
United States
Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
fartlover
Canada
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
burned
United States
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
amelie
Nervous
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
fatti11
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
same
Palo Alto, United States
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
byebyeromance
State College, United States
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United States
Sick burn
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
GasAttack
Canada
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Anonymous
Guayanilla, Sweden
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Ali
Gas wars
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Top comments
dillies 3
Girls fart?
cradle6 13
Revenge?
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Comments (186)
Occums_Razor 0
Kinky.
dirtroadboy 7
new fetiSh?
KeyboardWarrior 10
That sounds impossible. Explain?
lerouxmaster 7
Give it back if you don't want it, OP.
thanks_asshole 2
what the **** is a duty oven. i am not bothered to consult the urban dictionary
maybeeiwill 11
*Wafting* Everyone loves their own brand
Brool_Story_Co 17
21- I am also curious what a duty oven is, maybe you should look it up.
imaginaryvoice 18
33- I was wondering the same thing. If a dutch oven consists of farts, I really don't want to know what a duty oven consists of.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
21 - If you can't be bothered to type a few letters and make a few clicks, then your desire to know is not strong enough. Unfortunately, your laziness is.
ThatLooksSticky 16
Stinky, not kinky.
porp1 4
A dutch over is an oil fryer. Basically a deep fryer in a stock pot.
kyarush 10
Give him a dirty Sanchez... With his own shit!
bfrench95 0
A Dutch oven is what I give your mom every night:)
Pufferfish78 5
Give him a blumpkin!
Skywalka911 0
O_______________________O
Llama_Face89 34
When you fart under a blanket and force another's head under the blanket and hold them there. Dutch oven.
ThereRNoWorries 5
Maybe hes trying to tell her something.
felah17 6
The Urban Dictionary defines Dutch Oven as: The act of trapping somebody under the bed sheets,after releasing vile ass fumes!
Brool_Story_Co 17
88- Can you also look up the definition of duty oven, 21 has made me curious
angrynegro7 16
That's kind of the the whole point of a dirty Sanchez. She should give him one with her shit.
bitchslapped22 14
A duty oven is possibly a dutch oven consisting of shit instead of farts
MacItUp 8
Wow, people do that? What are we toddlers?
cradle6 13
Revenge?
DynamicDave 11
*fap fap fap fap fap*
Zeppelin1969 5
No way a female farted. I refuse to accept.
jesernoob 13
Hahahahahaha that's sick! xd
EmreArslan 11
Our ovens are the best!
SkoomaKi 28
Give him a Tarmac ;)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Perhaps is was so good that it was bad? Is there such a thing? If it works conversely, with terrible movies for example, maybe it could make sense this way too.
DynamicDave 11
Yes please.
ihatethesenamez 6
Give her a BOSTON STEAMER!!!
Ins0mau 20
Lie!!! Girls don't fart. (unless maybe you're a gay guy...)
MelTheGreat 23
omgz boys has teh c00tieZ eeewww lul datz grody im kinda stooped
urdirtyolduncle 15
Women are bred to be sexist.
SkoomaKi 28
If your going to insult every boy on here don't expect positive feedback...
nsnforever 2
And girls are bred to be bitches, apparently. Or at least that's what your comment proves.
hotPinklipstick 24
37 as a woman I disagree with your comment. I could see how a woman that went through the oppression before equal rights could be sexist, but that was decades ago. Most countries now have equal rights not matter what gender. Women should not be sexist over problems they never had to endure.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I agree with both of you to some degree, 37 and 39. While society's treatment of women has tremendously improved over the ages, the discrimination is not all gone. There's still a small gap to fill in western societies, and a giant one in other parts of the world, where gender inequality still rages on strong. Most feminists become such precisely because they have experienced some strong form of inequality. However, I think it has even more to do with collective mentality. Women still feel oppressed as a gender, collectively, even if not personally. The fact that we are still being treated poorly in some parts of the world, and by some people in our own, brings us down together. It's an interesting phenomenon, and one that needs to be viewed from multiple perspectives.
bizarre_ftw 22
18 - but actually 32 - **** off (and that isn't breeding, that's annoyance)
blondie1208 17
so is your grammar....
GoW_Chick 15
68- your comment just made us women look worse now were not only sexist bitches were also now stupid good job -.-
PeeblesWiggins 0
8, Get off of the Internet. Now.
ScaughtieHolden 11
I think it was sarcasm.
fancyclown 9
Lolcat impersonation?
DreBeezy 9
Your English teacher must be proud.
Wreckless_fml 6
Her English teacher must be dead.
philipino 24
STOP! DERPIE TIME!
Streeet_hayley 6
This is why you don't come on FML drunk or high.
MasenTheNerd 2
I find this comment quite funny for some reason...
Zeppelin1969 5
I don't understand a thing that you just typed… Seems someone forgot their grammar rules!
BayleeWasHere 1
I would have said something very witty, but I'm still trying to figure out what your comment said.
Sebastian_NG 17
Jesus Christ, all that gramma fascism has made you people joke and sarcasm impaired
FranzFerdinand 18
A good way to see if it's sarcasm or just stupidity is to check the profile to see if it matches the comment… yeah, this person is trolling you, haha.
leprechaun23 15
I use to talk like that Then I took an arrow to the knee
fenixtorador1 11
This should be an FML of it's own
mattmadden 0
How has this not been removed yet? Isn't there some kind of rule that prevents you from text talk or whatever the hell this is?
razorbacklove 8
Go read a dictionary.
Zeppelin1969 5
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
IdaE 17
I was trying to find something smart to say, but i don't understand what she said.....
nickyjp 17
This post gave me cancer.
Life_sucksXx 21
Funniest part is that fact that her bio says she's an English teacher and a grammar nazi
DontClickOnMe 28
Should have held it in.. Oh well, too late now!
CalCommando 6
"Watch out, I'm gonna... uh oh."
CalCommando 6
"Watch out, I'm gonna... uh oh."
Babyseal420 7
If you gotta fart, fart. Everybody does it there's no shame in it. Besides, if you hold it in it just makes your stomach hurt.
taytaylal 11
i bet he enjoyed it.
joooeee 3
Should be called a German oven in some circumstances...
rhysfucker 24
OP didn't indicate that she's Jewish.
DocBastard 40
Moderator - comment nuke requested above, please. Not funny. Not at all.
rhysfucker 24
Wasn't trying to be offensive... Moderator, please delete. I apologize, folks.
2ndSucks 15
Bring him down with you next time?
Mea022796 2
Haha creative
BountyBass 13
Not really I give (her) Dutch ovens all the time
p3mguin 7
Can I jump in your boobs and give them a Dutch oven?