Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML
Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML
Today, I called in sick for the first time. My boss said that if I didn’t show up, not only would he fire me, but he’d make sure I never find another job for the rest of my life. So I showed up to work with a bucket, puking every five minutes. My boss still made me stay the full nine hours. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML
Today, I was fired from the restaurant I work at because I missed my shift. I missed it because I was in the hospital for food poisoning from the meal I ate at work last night. FML
Today, I have a job interview after months of struggling to find work. I also woke up with explosive diarrhea and can’t be away from the toilet for more than 10 minutes. FML
Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML
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Top comments
EpicSquishii 21
I'd get a doctors note if I were you. Just to be sure your boss knows that it's legit. Hope you feel better, OP. Try and stay hydrated.
KatieMajestic 17
You jinxed it.
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Comments (77)
EpicSquishii 21
I'd get a doctors note if I were you. Just to be sure your boss knows that it's legit. Hope you feel better, OP. Try and stay hydrated.
terryaly 13
yes.doctors signature can let you stay in toilet
extrasnipes 22
well if he is ******** vomiting i dont think he is going to be able to go to the doctors....
9echo 17
If anyone even thinks about a "shitty situation" joke.....
gidgiddonihah 11
I've got a great boss that would totally understand and even fill in for me if needed. Just explain the situation. If your boss doesn't believe then text a picture.
starile 20
HAH 39 win
Cartera 10
Don't bring that stupid, "win" shit back. Go back to 2009 you heathen!
knotcool 15
What? I'd much prefer that over the " YOLO SWAG " BS we have going on now.
KatieMajestic 17
You jinxed it.
Anyb0dyTh 8
Exactly! Hahaha Good luck OP! :D
IloveToLaugh143 21
Karma's a little bitch. Or shall I say a little shit? Maybe a BIG shit fits better...
malheartsnutmeg 20
Just explain to him, I'm sure he'll get a laugh out of it if you're friends.
steffi90 13
That's what you get for joking about getting out of shifts. Karma is a bitch like that. like #1 said, get a doctors note so that your boss believes you, and get well soon :)
soccerguy2 11
If karma goes after people who joked about something, then I think we are all screwed.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
Well, this will be my last FML, considering karma works like that I'll be dead by 12. it's been a great run guys.
Nunaetsuko 13
Guess you will need after all to call in sick.. Sorry OP, hope you will get better soon.
Espolax 8
Karma is a bitch
football98_fml 20
so are you
magiczebra 9
Wow I didn't realize karma went after people who made harmless jokes. I guess were all screwed now.
SlapAndTickle 20
Yeah sure, because finding the job of your dreams with excellent pay is sooo easy in this economy. Some people are stuck with shit jobs for a reason. Besides, OP might enjoy their job a lot and just wanted Sunday off.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Get well soon, and I recommend going to the doctor to get a note or something, just to make sure
Pikawhore 21
It's better to call now than later. Don't wait until just before your shift starts, or your boss won't have time to get it covered.
mattrd_fml 31
sorry op. feel better. in the future dont ever even joke with your boss about shifts you dont want. get a doctors note.