Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML
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Top comments
elhefeweizen 0
Hahaha he lit that ass on fire! Bravo
Zonadow 0
Oh baby yes, move your tongue like--OH DEAR GOD MY ASS AAAUUGGGHHHHHH
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Comments (191)
mmmfunyons 0
shittt **** your life.
rallets 23
now THATS hot steamy sex cooking up some ham ahh i cant come up with any good puns lol
Yaseeher 0
this is gold
marinus_fml 20
ahaha he's branded you now!!
theking12369 0
haha 16 win
Talented1_fml 0
He tried to make you into a snack! Ok, I can understand on the kitchen bench... but the stove?? and you didn't tell him to stop when he went to put you on a hot stove???
rallets 23
lmfao! #16, good one
moni_bee 0
guess the buns burned
Bubbelz 25
I'm guessing he didn't need several tries to put her on it. It takes a few seconds. FYAssesL
Ms_Jessie22 8
Ouch! :( I hope you had pants on!
bettadenne1 0
at least u know where your place is (heavy makeout sesh) bf:hey babe r u cooking bacon? you ahhhhhhfuuuuukkkxgxhafki
gutzzzz 0
damn you have a hot ass but hey OP, not FYL, more like you can have him hold ice to ur ass while you guys are getting it on, cuz at least your sex life seems okay :p
Peacemaker9 7
lol ouch!!! suxs for u alot op u should of been somewhere else
imaginaryvoice 18
Peacemaker! your back! Lol, it's been a while
Peacemaker9 7
hey!!! how r u? yea it's been way too long!
imaginaryvoice 18
Lol, where'd you go?! I'm pretty good actually! No more school! :):) How are you?
Peacemaker9 7
doing ok....still in school til the 23rd...I've been busy lately with school and life in general...just enjoying my three day weekend.....was at the pool all day yesterday came back and had a Bon fire- got to chop the wood-, today had a bqq in the front of my house and partied til midnight
sharmen 0
At least you had pants on? Hopefully.
imaginaryvoice 18
Lol that sounds like last weekend for me. I had a Bon fire and a pool party. Sooo much fun. Haha I can't believe it's not summer for you though! I got out last Thursday :) and I lovee it! Lol but I'm glad your long weekend has been good.
Peacemaker9 7
Ty....let's see: I got tomorrow off from school then the next Monday and Friday after that and the the following monday after that then finals. this is going to go by fast for me
breakingakajav 0
guess he wanted you well done :)
imaginaryvoice 18
Ughhh. Finals. Finals went by so slow for me lol. I can barely do well on regular testing let alone finals. Haha but if you think it's gonna go by fast for you then congratulations! Lol
Peacemaker9 7
lol agreed finals suck....but if I have to take it then whatever at least it's summer soon....
imaginaryvoice 18
Haha soon for you. Summer is already here for me :) What are you gonna do during summer?
heidelbergmeme 5
imaginaryvoice.... how old are you?
imaginaryvoice 18
Lol, how old do you think I am?
mmmfunyons 0
wooooo i just noticed i got first! suckk it bitchsss
heidelbergmeme 5
imaginaryvoice: idk 19? #66 ha ha fail
RaIeigh 0
IV (:
Peacemaker9 7
family camping....alot of it too....might get a tattoo at some point during summer just not sure what though I'm undecided between 3-4 tattoos....and work out alot whenever I'm not busy with friends and family
imaginaryvoice 18
Really? 19? Hm. That'll come in handy sometime. Lol
heidelbergmeme 5
Raleigh: is that a tattoo in your right arm?
RaIeigh 0
Yep, it is.
heidelbergmeme 5
imaginaryvoice, so I'm guessing your not 19 then?
Peacemaker9 7
I'm going to guess 17-18 yts old...am I right? oh btw ur falling behind in the fml tag lol there's 3 fmls to check now....
imaginaryvoice 18
Oh damn. Lol hi Raleigh! I want a tattoo too peacemaker. But nothing big lol. I have no idea what I'm doing for summer. Just hang out with people and play it by ear I guess. Lol Rofl, and I'm not 17, 18, or 19
Peacemaker9 7
fine 16 that's my final offer!!!
heidelbergmeme 5
imaginaryvoice... 21?
imaginaryvoice 18
Rofl, 16 and 21. Somethings not right here. fafp
Peacemaker9 7
79- dude u make it sound like ur trying to figure out if she's a minor still....kinda pedo don't u think? no offense to you at all, that's just what it looks like to me.
imaginaryvoice 18
Not another stalker!! Raleigh! Nick! Help! lol
heidelbergmeme 5
#81 what are talking about. and how can I be a pedofile when I'm 16?
Peacemaker9 7
oh I remember that though... ok it's starting to come back now....wait a minute...ur the one that pushed me down into the grave!!!! that wasn't nice.... but ok fine I'll help * stands in front of u holding the crowd back* "ok.. ok plp back it up back it up..." lol
RaIeigh 0
*cracks knuckles* Do I have to break some legs, IV?
Peacemaker9 7
85- srry dude...I think a bit more than needed sometimes.....oh and I didn't know that ur 16, that's the thing with the itouch they don't let u check the profiles and it's kinda dumb too.... srry bout that
imaginaryvoice 18
Haha you guys are great! He seems pretty innocent. He said he was 16. How much harm can a 16 year old do? *looks down and blushes*
Peacemaker9 7
I don't know I mean u pushed me in a hole and left me there....but u made up for it by being nice and sweet so I'm going to have to day absoultely none.... I hope...cuz last time was no fun at all!!
imaginaryvoice 18
If you want... I'll let you push me into a grave... :)
Peacemaker9 7
no!!! out of the question. ur too nice for me to do that to u....besides the suckup in me would just get u out right away. not saying that I would if I wasn't one
imaginaryvoice 18
Haha right, right. Aww well that's for the nice comments! Makes me feel all special inside. :) Haha And it's good to know that if I ever need saving in a grave, I can count on you to help me. Lol
Peacemaker9 7
glad I can help...hey wat happened to body guard #2?
imaginaryvoice 18
Raleigh? Idk, it's late for him. Lol he might have fallen asleep. Whadda body guard. Pfft.
Peacemaker9 7
I get his cut right? it's 2:24 here in Cali
imaginaryvoice 18
Ahhh I'm from Cali! Los Angeles baby! haha. And yes, you can have his shift if youd like. Of course I wouldn't mind you sticking around. Lol
imaginaryvoice 18
nick, there's a spider in my room. o.o Idk what's going to make me cry, the spider or Anti flood.
heidelbergmeme 5
peacemaker where are you from?
heidelbergmeme 5
lmaginaryvoice: is it a big one?
imaginaryvoice 18
Yes it's freakin Ginormous! Kill it please! I don't even know where it went but kill it. oh, and it's 4:33 here in Missouri. lol
Peacemaker9 7
u made that sound like an invitation almost but nope not going there and that's horrible!!! a spider!!! great the one day I forget my spider killin gear.....and I'm in lake forest dude
Peacemaker9 7
ok Abbie two things: 1. let me guess ur on a trip aren't u? 2. ur falling behind on the other two fml
imaginaryvoice 18
Haha I'm not on a trip. And I'm in the middle of a spider crisis here. Lol
Peacemaker9 7
*looks around* I don't see it-.... omg it's on ur head!!!! wait nvm no it's not....*looks around more*....*whispers* found it... it's on reliaghs face.. shhhh!
imaginaryvoice 18
Hahahahhaa awww poor Raleigh! kill it nick, kill it!
xthelostnekox 4
i was thinking, the same thing..im like uhh ur gonna be put on the stove unless u didnt notice shouldnt u like say no??
Chaodin 0
"Let this be a lesson to you, hot ass!" Place the quote for twenty awesome points!
The_grumpy_bear 0
What's cookin' good lookin'?
NzxtZ06 0
where have I seen this before?
aoife123 0
134- it's a video on youtube... haha I thought more people would call it :L
tillytill99 0
YouTube oldie but goodie.
Asscake 0
What video was that? I've never seen it. D:
rustic 0
lol burn baby burnnn! fyl op! that must have hurt! hopefully it wasn't verry severe n won't leave you scared for life :)
marie93uso 0
omg fyl that SUCKS! #16 wins btw :) but wow that's rough
TaylorTotsYumm 10
DAAAAAYYYUUUUMM. You must have one hottt ass, OP. Lol. FYL, OP. I hope you didn't burn your buns too bad.
holyallyg 0
win
cincin75 0
Aparently ur bf thought u r not hot enough. Or maybe he just needed some bacon.
tminihan 0
that burn was proboly better thAn his sex
xtfauthorx 0
That's what you get for not making him a sandwich, I mean you were already there
mustardcat 1
hot sex right there
tekinzdudez 0
haha something like that happened in a James bond movie
Bloodbathandbeyo 0
toasted buns anybody? I loled harder at some of these comments than any of the recent FMLs. they just aren't as funny these days.... must be the economy...
elhefeweizen 0
Hahaha he lit that ass on fire! Bravo
fmlbai 0
kinky
EchoesOfSilence 0
Haha. Fail.
SkoomaKi 28
Really? I thought it was a win.
Stacy1234 0
YDI for making a hot snack.....a snack is chips...
n_maher 0
lol #5 :)
amandalovee 0
#5 ageed
thatisjank 0
thank you..
Ninjasaurus18 9
-cough- motherfucking idiot - cough- How was she supposed to know that her bf would set her on a freeking stove?!?! What if this happened to you? Would you say 'Well, it's my fault for liking the foods I do' Stupidass.
flurffmeister 0
this reminds me of some video out there on the Internet...
LexSwift 17
I was just thinking the same thing...
Bubbelz 25
yea LOL
allanaskye 0
yeah.. i saw a video just like that on YouTube .
marc_with_a_c 3
same. saw a video like that at least 10 years ago
thatsucks4u 0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY-at6RZa4M it's this video. Also makes me think of the song by kings of leon sex on fire
FriesWithASideOf 0
That burns.
LexaDear 0
is that picture really of you?
SpyderMonkee 0
Cool pic! I have the same hair, but with red I'm the front ۥ_)))
tenniskettle 0
YOUUUUUUUUR, YOUUUUUUR SEX IS ON FIIIRE. sorry had to say it, fyl
mmmfunyons 0
....a snack is funyons....
ChrisCTL 0
hahahaha awesome.
zeebruhxoxo 0
do you have a facebook?(:
ajthere4u 0
are you. chick or dude!?
dalink 24
This conversation went tangential very fast.
Zonadow 0
Oh baby yes, move your tongue like--OH DEAR GOD MY ASS AAAUUGGGHHHHHH
cokebear14 0
lmao sucks for you OP!!
sabatical 0
did you sizzle?
ggallegos13 2
*cracks up* Win!! HAHA;