Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I took my transfer student, who I am hosting for her year of study in America, to the doctor. It turns out that she is pregnant, and my teenage son is the father. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
And he thought he was the father how?
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
Why do parents expect the school to do everything for them? It's not their job to teach your child about sex so YDI
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Comments (177)
alluringtatas 7
The ****? It's the PARENT'S job to educate THEIR children!!
ChakatBlackstar 29
That's funny. For me it was the other way around. My dad lied to my mother about giving me the talk, so all I know about sex I learned from school, the internet, and my unlucky first girlfriend.
toalysium 15
Way to fail at parenting, this isn't the 1950's. YDI
nightbirdblue 27
He doesn't seem to be the brightest crayon in the box. Everyone knows that the crane brings the babies.
xgetxbentx 13
While I'm all for sex education being taught in school and find it an important issue, I must say this. Ydi for not giving him the talk YEARS ago. It isn't solely the schools responsibility to teach YOUR kid about sex, and parents like you that don't ever talk to their children is exactly why schools should have it. Sorry, but they do make it known to parents whether or not sex ed is on the curriculum. You should have been paying attention. You're lucky that he's still a virgin because with how young people are becoming sexually active these days it easily could have been his kid and it could be your child with an STD. Fyl for having to be the bearer of bad news, but ydi for not teaching your child basic sexual awareness.
Lilo4life 26
Well at least you know he's not into **** now.
MuppetMerkin 10
And that's where people keep failing as parents. They expect the schools to teach everything and then wonder why their kid grew up to be a moron.
ni0ve 9
sex talk is ur job
wvcheesehead1 9
Is your son's name Joseph and his girlfriend's name Mary?
firechicky 12
I'm sorry but I call bullshit. Its like my patients who tell me they're not sexually active because they "just lie there" If he knows he's std free and a virgin he's also gotta know he's not the dad.