Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML
Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my uncle is on vacation with his friend, who sent us a video of their hotel room. He captured a glimpse of my uncle in the shower. Naked. This can't be unseen. FML
Today, I walked in on my uncle watching porn. I realized that it was porn featuring my boyfriend, and he told me that the girl in it was "just a friend". FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
Today, I took my boys over to their grandmother’s house. We had a nice supper together. We all talked, played board games, and watched TV. After a while, I couldn’t find my 13 year-old son. He was in his 67 year-old grandmother’s master bathroom, jerking off with her dirty granny panties. FML
Today, I'd promised my flatmate I’d sleep somewhere else so he could hook up with his Tinder date. Unfortunately I had a bad day at work and totally forgot so I went home as normal and walked in on him in the front room, balls deep in my aunt, who is “happily married” to my favourite uncle. FML
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Top comments
kamr3n 13
Maybe it's time for him to go.
Emma1562 35
I have nothing to say but eeeeeeeeeeeeew
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Comments (152)
kamr3n 13
Maybe it's time for him to go.
kangx1 28
We all have that weird uncle.
Pinkgal123 24
Go and learn to not be an uncle who leaves horrid memories on little girl's beds.
thawny_fml 21
But he only just came.
xDeadlyBlade99x 9
Lol, I get it .
em_weafer 10
...wtf
achoo123 13
Old people have needs too lol
bl865ood 17
Not in my kids room, or my house.
stingray112 24
This is actually one of the weirdest FMLS I have ever read
_Reign_ 15
That's disgusting. But I guess at old age, some elders don't really care anymore.
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
old people still have urges too..
allforfun 23
Ask any nursing home staff, they'll tell you
Sangue0608 26
That doesn't excuse it.
snowflake_3325 7
#75 yeah they have urges too (my mom worked in a nursing home for like 35 years, I've heard all the stories there are to hear lol) but that doesn't make it right for him to do as a guest in someone else's house, and even less so in his niece's bed. That leads to the question of why he was aroused in his niece's bed - totally innocent and mood just struck him? Or something more heinous? I still agree with the commenter that said maybe it's time for him to go... Edit - I guess it's grandniece, technically
Slycooper997 11
Not on the old guy side. But guys get boners at completely random and bad times (actually surprised he could get one if he did)
razoray9 22
Did it happen to be the "master" bed room
ShowMeKay 20
No, he was just master of his domain lol
littleking94 14
haha good pun. It was the daughters bedroom though, so no
rockwrench 18
At least he "Came to visit".
Emma1562 35
I have nothing to say but eeeeeeeeeeeeew
PePziNL 20
With a side of "gross" and "get the **** out"
Trinidad727 9
Everyone's got that creepy uncle.. As for the bed, there's no recovering from that, throw it out...
RedPillSucks 33
by it, you mean the uncle, right? ..., right?
littleking94 14
Or just wash the sheets? Ya know, instead of buying a whole new mattress
Ava_Darkflame 26
I don't have a creepy uncle, but I have a crazy uncle. He chased my god mother with a machete once.
wtffml1979 22
Counts as crazy... I have cousins like that
rockwrench 18
At least he "Came" to visit.
acorn2222 8
We don't know that. He is 70.
rockwrench 18
Just because he's 70 doesn't mean he's dead.
rockwrench 18
Forgot to mention that doing in their daughters bedroom is a little creapy.
RedPillSucks 33
woosh... still creepy, though
wtffml1979 22
@19 #12 meant that it doesn't necessarily mean he came.
rockwrench 18
Got it #38, thanks.
milehigh52 22
I'm kind of happy for him. The old man can still get it up at 70 years old. That's pretty impressive.
wtffml1979 22
Yeah, great, he can get it up. But in a little girls room? There's such a thing as Respect... That's quite disgusting to even think about. He'd been gone without hesitation. No tolerance here.
Malecent 13
Not to support it, but for all we know op's daughter could be 24 and had just moved out. Im just saying, it doesn't say it wad a little girl in the fml
SnowxSakura 17
If he needed to wring one out so badly, he should have gone into the bathroom.
asspole 16
carpet muncher !
wtffml1979 22
Oh I didn't even think of that. Geez that really could be the truth. In that case, spank on? Wether 2 or 24, still doesn't make it ok and still gotta go. Creepy either way. No matter the age I'm not ok with anyone jacking off in her bed or room.
iPixelCheese 19
You need to talk to have a talk with him and your husband, and go over what is ok and not ok.