Today, I realised the only preparation I've done for my final French exam has been wanking off to French porn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML
Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, I tried to impress a French student by saying “Bonjour!” but instead said “Bordel!” which means “Brothel.” She laughed, and so did every one of the french students around us. My cultural street cred is officially dead. FML
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
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Top comments
lissa_jade 22
then stop playing with your "oui oui" and study !
moo_and_bloo 10
Wow. Good job.(sarcasm)
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Comments (115)
moo_and_bloo 10
Wow. Good job.(sarcasm)
\ 28
Looks like OP's about to experience "la petit mort"
fortune789 17
He should write "foutre" all over his essay.
Pleonasm 36
10-14: So many errors in so few words.
GodPart2 20
#17 *such few words
Pleonasm 36
You realise that you can actually say it "so few," right?
Harpy20 24
Welp, full immersion eh?
Yeshua_fml 19
He better hope it's an "oral" exam.
Crazynocatlady 22
Obviously op is a kinaesthetic learner.
incoherentrmblr 22
You are what the French call, "Les incompetant"...
Wutdafuqq 24
OP is using isn't using his head. He's using his other head.
Feklfekl2222 32
I think I have the same exam as you on Monday, it'll be fine you can't really revise for languages and it's only French. Plus immersion in a language always helps, even if it's ****
I_lost_the_game 25
As do I, it'll be okay
jo0owe 9
#3 its only french...comme si le francais etait la langue la plus facile a apprendre. i wish i could hear you speak french just so i can judge you....
Cwizer 17
Well you've got some preparation.
lord_meloetta 20
It could help if no and keep going are on your test
sterling1113 15
I was really confused reading this comment without quotation marks around "no" and "keep going", I seriously thought I just couldn't understand the sentence. But now I get it. .___.
silvercamaro 22
Thanks #34 I read that like 50 times and didn't get it haha until I saw your comment
killinpoptarts 9
#34.... You are a lifesaver! I would have been there all night
DARKDAY07 16
well I guess you can talk dirty on your exam lol
sirpantselot 22
If it's an oral exam, he'll ace it.
Pleonasm 36
At least you've got the french kiss down.
Enslaved 38
I prefer the "Australian kiss", French but done down under.
cryssycakesx3 23
"kissing during a rainbow right??"
kdgsmiley 23
Oh là là
Stazza11 27
At least you can understand them.
lissa_jade 22
then stop playing with your "oui oui" and study !
let_me_touch_it 8
Lol that was perfect
Dgarcia2014 13
I think your name is perfect actually lmao
Opheliae 22
So... your Dad from the previous FML was right about you.