Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend of 6 years and fiancé has been secretly dating and hooking up with my step-sister behind my back. Now she's pregnant. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend with an older guy who I thought was her dad, I went over to introduce myself. And then turned around and walked away very fast as I saw them make out. My girlfriend is cheating on me with someone as old as my dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
DNA test, and dump her.
RebeccaRFT 18
Dump her. And don't help with the baby. She cannot make you stay and take care of it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
Welshite 40
DNA test, and dump her.
ComoEsJuan 24
I've heard of Virgin births before. Something about some guy named Jesus or Jesse or something..
coming back in the future 30
#11 it's juan
Tarlachia 33
#14, actually it's Jesús. Es muy especial.
ComoEsJuan 24
*GASP* well I do declare, Mr. Beauregard!
incoherentrmblr 22
It's almost like gone girl, except her dad will be the killer...
lnheritance 19
Wouldn't that require surviving nine months? Or are they capable to do it at any given time? I honestly have no clue.
chlorinegreen 27
One girl got pregnant from doing oral then getting stabbed in the stomach. She was a virgin and gave birth to a child. Look it up, I know I'll get thumbed down anyways.
SarcasticShade 16
Are you a wizard #74?
Phooey 22
#74 lol not everything you read on the Internet is true.
Misshhh 23
Why would OP need DNA Testing? From the looks of this FML it sounds like he and his girlfriend had never had sex. Or none that he's aware of lmao
martin_dustinc 8
Re-read and try again, #101.
blackonblight 33
Nah, they called the kid Josh. What do you expect with a mother named Miriam?
RebeccaRFT 18
Dump her. And don't help with the baby. She cannot make you stay and take care of it.
HyunnK 18
Ain't nobody got time fo dat
tucansamTommyG 12
I got bronchitis!
Regimental_Phan 18
I just wanted a cold pop....**** NO I got a baby!
thejokingguy13 12
Dude one word...run
Mightyrif 23
Forest
cheertrombonist 9
*Forrest.... come on man.
Som3Rand0mGam3r 9
opportunity missed
RollingCakes 21
Well I hear that the East Coast is nice during times of fertilization
chloewj 15
Tell her to get out of your life
briang959 47
Maury Povich is in your future....or Jerry Springer.
Jinxsie 27
I pick Maury. You don't have to worry about losing your fake hair or ruining a nice shirt.
travellingfun 18
Leave, find someone better and let her deal with all the problems she has caused herself.
aruden 25
She sounds like an evil one.
feven 32
Just leave. You have zero obligations and if the dad tries anything take him to court. But make sure to explain yourself at least once to her parents beforehand tho
igive 29
Dump her ass. And tell her to leave you alone. BTW you have rights to a DNA test if she tries anything.