Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I took my transfer student, who I am hosting for her year of study in America, to the doctor. It turns out that she is pregnant, and my teenage son is the father. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
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Top comments
lilhellian 27
And he thought he was the father how?
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
Why do parents expect the school to do everything for them? It's not their job to teach your child about sex so YDI
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Comments (177)
hazardmuffin 21
That sucks, but YDI for blaming his lack of sex education from school.
rabobi 6
When did the responsibility of informing your kid about sex pass on to the school?!
CeeCee_fml 16
I refuse to believe that your son reached nearly the age of twenty without knowing the very basics of sex education. He doesn't have friends? Television? Internet?
iwadasn 33
YDI for relying on the school to give him the talk that you should have given him a long time ago.
xkncas 8
Parents need to grow up and give their own damn kids the talk about sex... You're a failure as a parent for not being grown up enough to do it yourself years ago...
AdoptedSoul 6
I feel sorry for your son for having a moron for a parent...clearly it's being passed down to him..
vbmg152 19
The sex talk is your job, not the school systems! I agree that you're a moron & deserve it!
xs4u 13
options: ****, hobag, loose ****, harlot, used meat, floozy, labia ho supreme, *****.... got the message boy?
Nonibird 6
You had to give your kid a sex talk? OMG! Next they'll want you to parent.
Ray_of_midnight 23
This is where twenty years of abstinence-only sex ed has gotten us.