Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
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Top comments
mfinn 0
ydi for getting that drunk and being an idiot
bwynin 0
Because a proff tattoo would be better?
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Comments (116)
Malexhe 0
Can't wait to see this on Ugliest Tattoos in a week.
jollyjam1 2
Just another example of how doing drugs is for morons.
cofcgrad07 0
All these penis jokes are cracking me up!!! keep at 'em!
Twunt 14
That's just ridicKulous!
24788 7
I swear water and tattoo parlors attract drunk people.
MissOriginal 0
I didnt even read the rest of the story... the minute I saw "I was so drunk last night" I gave u a big fat YDI
leadrunner751 3
your a woman right?
tacoman007 2
Well, I suppose it could be worse if you were a guy... On a serious note, YDI for getting so damn drunk.
flyinmysoup 0
wow, i didn't even think of that. but, oh so true--unprofessional might very well mean unclean. gross :/
pwincessa23 1
I don't believe you! I need proof! send a pic...