Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
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Top comments
mfinn 0
ydi for getting that drunk and being an idiot
bwynin 0
Because a proff tattoo would be better?
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Comments (116)
Cuc_fml 0
nice going
TrollTrollTroll 0
i got a tatoo of a person and i make them talk so it seems like i actually have friends
TheLetterZero 7
Two stupid moves in one night! You should congratulate yourself, you failure!
Seventytimeseven 0
Jesus....I have been so smashed I doubt I could barely stand up, but i still beat the crap out of my friends trying to draw on me cause i passed out with my shoes on. I have had a tattoo done before, it definitely should have cause some serious alarm and I cannot even begin to believe you held still for it. I can't believe this to be real
bom_bom 0
Well how big is it. If its small maybe u can apply make up till you get it removed. And btw are you sure its a permanent tattoo.
rosiegrewup 0
Talk about making a dick of yourself...
padlarf 14
I involuntarily clicked YDI a hunderdandfourteen times
Radi0Waves 0
fake
newsgit 0
way to go, feel good now?
perdix 31
A doctor could fix that right away. I suggest a urologist because they can make a very anatomically accurate penis. Hopefully, your insurance covers the addition of a hairy scrotum to really get rid of the current tattoo's clownish appearance.
pepolshet 0
Enjoy your AIDS!