argh
Houston, United States
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
snow
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Funnymann
United States
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Fingkids
United States
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
nosey
Mountain Ash, United Kingdom
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
maturity
Sydney, Australia
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
Anonymous
Just a prank, dad
Today, my son got drunk and managed to colour in my bald patch with permanent marker while I was asleep. It’s super noticeable and I look like a complete prat. Plus in a few hours, I’m supposed to be on my first date since my divorce 12 years ago. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
Jade
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML
Top comments
Curfman 0
I bet they were bigger than yours too
loserman67 36
You my friend are suffering from deeply recessed homosexual tendencies. The influence of alcohol introduced into your brain function has let you "drop your guard" so to speak and you reacted by opening that "closed chamber" and let your deepest desires loose. By drawing several phalluses on your face and I am probably safe in saying that most of them, if not all were pointed at your mouth you were able to realize your dream of being orally penetrated by several well hung men. Go with your desires, do not keep them repressed, open the "well-spring" of sexual freedom you have been guarding as a secert all these years. $300 dollars please..... BTW - this post was funny as shit!
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Comments (58)
Mooish 18
Could be worse. What color did you draw em in?
chippedipp 0
He Said Dicks?
TheCaterpiller 6
And, what difference does that make?
TunechiXXL 0
So you draw dicks all over your face..... That is pathetic...... The virginity is "STRONG" with this one.....
tylersign 11
4- He also said "drunk" and "marker". So- the- hell- what?
Cad6 24
On the contrary, if I saw someone walking around with multi-colored dicks on his face I would think it was ******* hilarious.
ladyLALAA 29
I hope it was bright pink.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
OP's gonna get laid tonight! Sorry for my terrible humor. :(
Curfman 0
I bet they were bigger than yours too
inferiarmy 0
BOOM
edibleamazing 4
ZING
EduJav321 24
KABLAM
CookieGirl4ever 13
BAZINGA
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
EXPLOSION
InstantRanbowMix 0
"insert onomatopoeia here"
ShawnzieNstuff 6
Thats what she said ^ Haha!
aaahhhfire21 0
Sad when u don't have friends and have to resort to degrading urself while drunk
NiiTeH 7
LE POW
XanderScythe 11
SHABALABADICK
jaystreet46 4
YOWZA!!
missamerica95 0
At least you were having fun OP!
thgiL 9
No regrets in life man, yolo. Also permanent marker comes off... 2 good washes or one amazing wash scrub a lot!!
dwvork 6
Fantasy of yours?
taerts 9
You took the initiative, your friends didn't even have to do it for you
Zaros_fml 24
Everyone loves a considerate friend.
mandadarling 10
Although you have **** on your face now, OP, at least they are just drawings ;)
TunechiXXL 0
You are beautiful ;)
kbtoyz69 9
hey what's up?
mandadarling 10
How you doin? :P
iamyummylicious 14
Get a room you two. Or at least use private messaging.
jaystreet46 4
You look like you could use some on yours
hateevryone 15
What the hell?
HeartOfLead 24
I guess OP from the last FML didnt have enough to drink.
idontknowyou123 0
sounds like my saint patricks day night
FlashBurn 13
Wow, must've eaten the worm. Never eat the worm! That's when it gets really fun.
emmaa3451 11
At least it wasn't a tattoo..
nofearjenshere 12
Hangover 2!