Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
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Top comments
mfinn 0
ydi for getting that drunk and being an idiot
bwynin 0
Because a proff tattoo would be better?
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Comments (116)
koda446 4
wow that's funny now u r just a dumb **** lol
Popsiclese 0
haha you said penis
MiGman 5
penis tattoo FTW
Godless26 1
i call bullshit on all drunken tattoo stories, it only happens in movies, the truth of the matter is if there a quality tattoo artist who knows anything about safety, they wont tattoo a drunk person because your blood is too thin
bamam 0
Idiot
Cierra657 0
umm @56 they were clearly answering number 3s question. you look like a idiot.
saltypirate 0
dumbass!
madeingeorgia 0
I would like to know what you would consider to be a professional tattoo of a penis...
taylove23 1
haha! you're an idiot for getting a tattoo of a penis!
tittymagic 0
are you gay? that's what you think of when your drunk??