Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
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Top comments
mfinn 0
ydi for getting that drunk and being an idiot
bwynin 0
Because a proff tattoo would be better?
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Comments (116)
lifeinhd 3
Well, you life is ******, but it's your fault for it being that way, so YDI.
Aeryx 0
So, I'm still not sure if I believe this or not. If it's true then the OP deserved it and it's truly a post worthy of FML... That being said I really do not see this as being true.
yer_maw 1
now that's what I call being mad wi it
Yug_Tnacifingisn 0
Better a penis on your arm than an arm on your penis...
Tamara2011 0
haha that's funny you totally deserved that :) lossser and why again was it a penis?
Gucci_Girl 2
Have fun explaining how you got a tattoo of a **** on your arm(:
VittiChan 2
well I heard that now u can kinda get most of tattoos u don't want off.
FortuneFaded 0
Why are people telling the OP to get to an AA meeting? One drunken night out does not mean you are an alcoholic, regardless of the stupid things that happened.
Lia_Mackenzie 4
But so drunk that you get a ******* tattoo and don't remember? That's a little (more than) too much to drink.
SweetestSin 4
lmfao I would love to see pictures of this
zombieboy_fml 0
After a night of drinking I always think, " boy a penis tattoo would be a great idea"