Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML
Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Never drink alcohol again, please. You obviously can't handle it. YDI.
shellzy 20
Even intoxicated, why the hell would you want an ex's name tattooed on you? That's a different level than piss drunk stupid.
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Comments (135)
Doortje 30
Never drink alcohol again, please. You obviously can't handle it. YDI.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
ahh alcohol the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
Crystalosophy 0
You need to get over your ex and not drown your feelings with alcohol.
a_nutritionist 10
next entry will be Today, I got piss drunk and thought it'd be a good idea to go to work. It wasn't. FML...
CryMoreFMLs 15
The OP should've tatooed "I'm a dumbass" on their thigh.
juicedboi 7
You don't have his name on your thigh. You have a similar name on your thigh. Now pretend that it's this really awesome prince charming when somebody asks at the beach
lilmisslovely13 15
wrecking balm!!
LEGALIZEWEED 0
smoke weed it's better ... if you don't believe me check out my profile or go to NORML.org
Hidan_fml 0
Ok, I'm all for the legalization of weed, but dude, really?
lipfullacope 0
don't feed the trollz....even if you like weed
chatoyant_fml 12
If you being a tattooartist you sound pretty unserious, since a serious and well-educated artist never would tattoo anyone with alcohol in their blood, nevertheless spell it wrong. Sorry but you just sound like another idiot with a machine calling themselves an artist.
shellzy 20
Even intoxicated, why the hell would you want an ex's name tattooed on you? That's a different level than piss drunk stupid.
alaskasfml 0
maybe a memory. if my boyfriend ever dies or leaves me i'm getting a tattoo that reminds me of him- he's a big part of my life and i love him very much. but i'd never be stupid enough to get his name!
DjeePee 25
Wait, what? I understand the 'I'm going to get a tattoo to remind me of my dead boyfriend' thing a little, but getting a tattoo when your boyfriend leaves you? Why would you want to remind that?
afdude87 6
I wish you could find out how crazy someone is before you become too involved. that's even on the verge of creepy.
shakethat 10
really 34? WTF. getting a tattoo to remember your bf left you is pretty creepy. just as bad as getting his name. I feel sorry for him- I bet once he leaves you you're going to start stalking him and everything.
ReynshineCutting 10
They may have been friends since they were little and then started dating. She said he's a big part of her life. Maybe he saved it at one point. Granted, any future boyfriends/fiancé's/husbands probably won't like it.
alaskasfml 0
actually he thinks it's a sweet idea. like i said- it's a reminder of what's important to me. sorry if none of you have hearts or someone you always want to remember.
alaskasfml 0
and there will hopefully be no future boyfriends. he has stated he wants to be with me the rest of his life. but i'm thinking realistically, even if you marry someone it doesn't guarantee in the end you'll stay together. and 91 is correct. maybe people should get the full story before they acuse people of being a stalker and such and make themselves look like dicks.
DavLynn 4
maybe they're intoxicated while trying to get over the ex?
Helloiloveyou199_fml 0
god you are an idiot.
zmoney314 0
Exactly, you are what's wrong with America.
iReadFmlsFml 0
75, among MANY other things
iReadFmlsFml 0
75, among MANY other things.
Helloiloveyou199_fml 0
a lot is wrong with America, sure, but a lot isn't wrong with it too.
lntreis_fml 0
Yeah, god is such an idiot! He didnt even have the balls to make judgement day actually happen yesterday.
cocobulla1 4
areed 3! stupid that's y I don't drink...
FYLDeep 26
You type like that sober?
cocobulla1 4
lmao it's 3:30 AM I'm so tired
Bravo11 14
Then don't type at all?
celticnate 0
Spelt....
kgmonkeys 0
she spelled 'spelled' correctly. 'spelt' isnt even a word
cocobulla1 4
lmao now that's funny! wait I shouldn't be taking, I typed areed instead of agreed! lmao
cocobulla1 4
*talking! look at me, ima a wreck and a stupid typer!
a_nutritionist 10
actually, ignoring the commonly used meaning of the word in british english, spelt is still a word.
WallyTheWombat 0
I'm pretty sure "spelt" and "spelled" are both words. They're just from two different forms of English.
Zombieslayer1 0
Alas, you are idiots, so watch me make jest of your stupidity and insufferable presumption that "spelt"
Zombieslayer1 0
is not a word. Sorry people, my iPods ****** so you get one message for the price of two.
DocBastard 40
"Spelt" is, in fact, two words. Not only is it the past tense of "spelled", but it is also a species of wheat. My question for you: is "dumbass" a word?
ohSNAPyall 27
Oh, pumpernickel.
doom2 8
guess you shouldn't have drank so much..
whiteboy7thst 2
Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol.
HipsterFox 3
Hey, your a tattoo artist..change his name to a picture or something and be creative! ;)
RayneStorm93 0
Oooohhh. That sucks. I'm sorry but I laughed so hard. FYL.
Zya_fml 8
don't drink alcohol if you cannot handle it. YDI.
Keyman1212 14
You need friends to drink with. Serious ones, who even in a heavy state of intoxication, will discourage you from such idiotic behavior.
FYLDeep 26
Yeah, I agree. Once you reach a certain state of drunkenness, you're really a hazard to yourself.
cocobulla1 4
amen!
Ranimal 12
Most friends usually enjoy the pleasure of not being "that person", so they let it continue.
NYC_Yoshi 3
that's not a friend. yerpa derp
CEG3 0
I lol'ed to this :P