Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is leaving me for a tattoo artist. I was in rehab and she met him getting a tattoo as a surprise for me. FML
Today, I went to a tattoo artist to get what I thought would be really cute, elegant finger tattoos. I left with wobbly, blobby messes all over my fingers. FML
Today, I finally got a tattoo of an alchemy symbol that I've wanted for years. I also found out later that symbol stands for urine. FML
Today, I found out the tattoo symbolising my marriage turned out to be more permanent than the marriage itself. FML
Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML
Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML
Today, my friend sent me a link to a "horrible" tattoo that he found online, that a guy had gotten at my tattoo parlor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
I think the big question is where is the tattoo located?
supermansgf 11
Well it's not on your face is it?! I surely hope not. Put on proper clothes to cover it and you'll be fine.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
Welshite 40
I think the big question is where is the tattoo located?
Pixiecrack 11
I too am interested in the placement
JennaNGood 21
I'm going to guess either the neck, or hands. Still really hoping for a follow up though.
Fuaaad1994 31
Across OPs forehead
iBanana 17
Your clients will probably feel you're more trustworthy because of your strange tattoo, which means you have more information to help defend them. Lawyers who are all clean and suited up with no personality are... You know how we feel about lawyers.
Liyuesigs 8
Instant connection when you visit your client at the jailhouse.
trulypar 34
"Where is the tattoo", was my first question too. Hopefully the brother-in-law was at least thinking about placement when he was inking OP.
theDopestChiick 8
awesomee
SirMichael 13
@42, He was drunk, and based on the choice of tattoo probably stoned, so I wouldn't bet on him thinking of that.
DraconicFeline 31
I hope it's not on his hand. That would make it difficult for him to point at people.
crazytwinsmom 25
This FML just begs to be illustrated.
FrankHotpants 31
I'm assuming he's an attorney of some sort so wearing a suit and tie doesn't leave much room for a visible tattoo unless it's in the worst place possible like face or neck.
Sniper_Chick4110 20
If it's on his hands, he can always wear gloves. Black ones, or one, to look classy and a little creepy.
pureaphrodisiac 4
my question exactly
supermansgf 11
Well it's not on your face is it?! I surely hope not. Put on proper clothes to cover it and you'll be fine.
JBChristian 47
Lawyers in court are usually dressed properly.
JimmyHasNoHands 7
are proper clothes supposed to cover your chest?
kewpiesuicide 29
I don't care how drunk you are, nobody with half a brain would agree to a face tattoo from someone equally as drunk. And hands are difficult to tattoo even sober so I'm guessing it's neither of those areas.
cryptic26 12
OP has got to follow up on this one! I'm itching to know where the mystery spot is and the story around it. OP be a generous god and deliver!
rogwest 23
You're a lawyer! so on the bright side at least your suit will cover it!!
Fatwahhh 10
Well, that depends on the tattoo's location. If it is on his hand, his suit can't cover that. But if it is on his arm, then the suit will cover it. Hopefully, it does cover it though.
alycion 39
There is make up specifically designed to cover tattoos. Maybe op should invest in some until the thing can get removed.
clrichmond2009 24
@43, my neighbor used to use that stuff. you could still his, just not as well.
nikkipettyfer 24
That's unfortunate..
phatdaddy62 23
Hence the FML!
hashshim 23
What's unfortunate is that OP called himself "not a dumbass pothead", belittling Marijuana users when he himself is little more than a dumbass drunk.
WelcomeToAndale 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Anybody who uses marijuana (or any drugs for that matter) is an idiot. Drug users deserve to be belittled.
sicksadworld1317 30
@62- And I suppose cancer patients, people in chronic pain, and people with severe depression deserve to be belittled too? Nah, none of that is unpleasant enough to warrant a mental vacation with medicinal properties that is slowly being steered toward legalization. Come on, now.
starcaller17 16
I think it's obvious #62 was talking about recreational drug users... Prescribed drugs are completely different
rocker_chick105 31
89- in case you missed it (which I think you did), I'll take a stab in the dark and guess 75 was talking about marijuana.
stargirl_95 24
I don't think that OP used the word dumbass to belittle people who smoke weed. I think that he was referring to the fact that he looks like a pothead who was dumb enough to get a marijuana tattoo in a visible place.
A7XCamaro 19
Unless it's on your head, neck, or hands, you're fine. An idiot, but fine.
tranced_ 45
even so, there's makeup to cover it!!
Clay_Pidgeon 11
he's not a dumbass pothead, he's just a dumbass...
Freakophiliac 12
Damn it, you beat me to it!
skate2125 4
Well, do you mind having it removed? You may have to.
binger_gitch 12
That would suck having to get it removed OP.!
Enslaved 38
Long sleeves-- Problem solved! (Hopefully it's not tattooed on your forehead.)
Welshite 40
Forehead tattoos are sexy though.
FucYoCouch 13
9, especially those that say "YOLO" in huge old-english letters
PIGaming 21
This is kind of thing is why I never let myself lose control when drinking.
BadApple88 29
Never get a tattoo while drunk!
Ray_of_midnight 23
If nothing else, alcohol is a blood thinner and you'll bleed more. It's one of many reasons why reputable tattoo artists won't work on drunk people.
Axipiter 24
I was wondering about that myself, what kind of reputable tattoo artist tattoos someone while they're drunk? Some brother-in-law.
not_happening 11
Time to move to Colorado
trulypar 34
Or where I live...Washington. :-)