Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. Fifty minutes into the tattoo on my back, the artist said, "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML
Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML
Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a "talk." So now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
anonymous_kenie 7
Hey sometimes life is hard
bloodierframe30 16
Wow. I'll call that a 'Hard' time
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Comments (131)
LinkandSaria 10
first
anonymous_kenie 7
Hey sometimes life is hard
vbzy 11
It has it's ups and downs, right OP?
HKCgrimmjow 15
On the bright side, you now know you're a masochist!
omgbrainZ_fml 24
Haha lol. Life is "hard" what a great pun :P
VeganVampyre 27
Wow, thank you, 55! None of us would have gotten that without you!
JustinKirby 20
I tried to find a way to fit the phrase "stuck Inbetween a rock and a hard place" in there but couldn't think of a clever pun.
Kain713 14
Thanks Ted, that was the joke.
bloodierframe30 16
Wow. I'll call that a 'Hard' time
applebramble 22
Hmm OP likes to be dominated .
radwanov 14
nah nah nah come on, come on, come on. i like it, like it s s s & m m m :)
VonBlitzkrieg 27
At least now OP knows what he's into.
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Get a tattoo on your junk next time! Wonder what will happen.
DarthMorlock 9
This reminds me of 21 jump street "we even had to get tatoos on out junks
ShadowSneaker360 16
I heard a guy got a tattoo on his dick and now has a permanent erection.
liketenpandas 6
I once heard this story... oh wait. no I didn't.
mallu86 9
#119 you must had a really rough childhood.
joeja69 6
probably in the face lol
TheCrispyCat 20
Whatever's comfortable
vikingsfan619 5
Was the tattoo that he erected up to your standards?
wellthen7154 12
Those standards are a bit too hard to cum up to.
cryssycakesx3 23
those puns almost made me spit everywhere!
junkman6 22
Spitters never win!
wellthen7154 12
I will admit they are a bit tough to swallow.
bighood24 17
spitters are quiters
LinkandSaria 10
Tattoo parlor's have seen lots.of things. Don't worry about it OP
junkman6 22
Masochism is apparently your thing. Time to buy some latex suits and a cat o' nine.
J_Kertz 14
And apparently a tattoo gun.
NotMyDay5 13
Fifty Shades of tattoo
krupa1017 18
Hey, whatever gets you through the pain. Lol