Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML
Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML
Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML
Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my tattoo artist brother-in-law. I was so wasted that I agreed to let him try working on me. I woke up with a tattoo of an animated marijuana plant smoking a cigarette. This'll look just great when I'm defending clients in court. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off, only to learn that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML
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Top comments
mfinn 0
ydi for getting that drunk and being an idiot
bwynin 0
Because a proff tattoo would be better?
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Comments (116)
HazeZero 0
lol i stopped mid cough to laugh at this
rawr_imlikeyes 0
wow, honestly. You were really THAT drunk . Control your drinking...
Hockeylover87_71 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha hero
Hockeylover87_71 0
wow #48 pay attention. he said he got drunk. you get drunk by drinking, not doing drugs.
PhillyFox 0
Well nobody forced you to drink until you blacked out. If you're going to get that drunk, you have to accept the risk of anything that your drunk self is capable of doing. If you don't want to accept the risk, don't drink that much. Maybe you'll learn that you don't have to drink until you black out to have fun. YDI
lumuma 0
that is terrible i wouldnt let anyone see it
Leviyah 0
Every single time some moron comes onto this site and says "I got so drunk blah blah blah" or "omg my life sucks because blah blah blah happened when I got drunk" or "waaah i drunk texted my boss" YDI YDI YDI YDI YDI you IDIOTS
mischief63 0
You know, I could come in here and preach to you about how you totally deserved it for getting drunk in the first place, but I'm sure you're feeling pretty horrible about it without my help. Whatevs. I still feel for you, man.
_whatshername_ 0
This is one of those few FMLs that still make me laugh :)
XBCX96 4
if you ever get so drunk that the best idea to come to your mind is "hey, lets get a permanent penis on my body," you might wanna consider AA. well lets think of the positives: women will no longer hit on you..... then again, guys probably wont either