Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
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Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
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Comments (219)
kingtz 6
I think op must be a 12 year old girl or sure sounds like one. Anyway, ydi for failing to look up what the movie read about...
GothKitty19 0
Hehe,same thing happened with me,except I was with my big sister and cousin.I was getting turned on,but had to look away since I'm young.
FrankHotpants 31
oh no, sex in a movie!....how bout we all grow up and be adults about it.
akaOtter 1
problem is, we're not all adults.
CableFrog 3
Not to mention some people never left Neverland.
FML102938 8
Win
zannimask 1
I get that the old guy was a problem, but it's not a pornographic movie. Most people in North America are way too insecure about this stuff. It's not a taboo subject, it's sex. Get used to it ;D
rummydummy 3
Basically a porno my arse... explore the internet a bit
ulicksam 0
If you can talk yourself into believing that's a ****, I also don't believe anyone was jacking off. Way to be overly dramatic though.
hilmithecar 0
I can't believe you called Black Swan "basically a porno". You don't know anything about movies or ****. I don't think you're qualified to watch neither of them.
jeremsan_fml 0
thx for the advice next movies i see next time i get out of base Black swan and walk hard
saleha97 4
Wow, that's awkward.. and ok, maybe it wasn't a **** film, but she was with her parents and saw it. That's the whole point! Chillax people, omg.
Chunkylover76 4
Did Natalie Portman use her Golden Globe on Mila's fury Kunis in these scenes? If so, count me in! Natalie: Hey prop guy, bring in the vibrating Golden Globe for this scene! I'll show this Mila chick what winning one feels like!