Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
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Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
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Comments (219)
rckcnt 0
awesome
gunman15 4
well I think this just sent thousands of people to go wach this movie
mrmerino 0
I heard sales of Kleenex and jergen's skyrocketed around the time the movie came out
sourgirl101 29
All I heard about the movie was that it was getting great reviews and that it was getting considered to be nominated for some awards. Thanks for the heads up on the sex scenes.
Rosa_La_Hermosa 5
Natalie did win a golden globe for this :)
ImaginaryFoe 1
Apparently movie academies are impressed when women fake orgasms (see Halle Berry in Monster's Ball). The movie was pretty good, the sex scenes (there were two or three) were not gratuitous but they were pretty explicit. If you're squeamish, leave it out. Otherwise, it's an interesting psychological thriller.
RedPillSucks 33
Yeah. I hated that Halle Berry basically got an award for giving some guy head. I hated it more that the guy wasn't me. I wasn't going to see Black Swan before, but now, I might. Perhaps not with the wife and kids though.
Rosa_La_Hermosa 5
The lesbian sex scene was the best. I've always had a crush on Mila Kunis she's perfect! Lucky Portman!! Oh and ydi, next time look up a review.
spazyman 0
I'm sorry, but YDI for thinking it was a Porno. the movie as a whole would make for a great discussion on the artistic use of those things that make us most uncomfortible. maybe you should try it you may be able to get your parents into as uncomfortible of a state as getting the sex or drugs talk from them. too bad about the guy behind you, maybe he just dropped his drink.
MrsLender_fml 3
Watching sex scenes with parents is always awkward but at least the old guy was there to break the tension... right?
Chunkylover76 4
Did Portman use her Golden Globe on Kunis during the scene? Impromptu prop change!
mrahhhhh 21
Wow I want to see the movie now :). Even though my memories of Star Wars Episode 1 got a little worse, as when I was 7 I had a crush on Padme (if that is who she played). "blush"
MrsLender_fml 3
Watching sex scenes with parents is always awkward but at least the old guy was there to break the tension..... right?
emodude44 0
That movie scared the crap out of me. but that scene was REALLY hot...