Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
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Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
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Comments (219)
BeautyInTheBrake 0
that moveii was frikken physco swan it sukked i hated it
Lia_Mackenzie 4
that moveii was frikken physco swan it sukked i hated it I coulda seen that coming, if you type like THAT. Do the world a favor and learn some English. Dear GOD
kirstyzz 0
You're a moron. How does one lesbian scene make a movie a porno? And the whole point of it was to show how she was exploring her dark and passionate side so that she could dance the black swan. You must be an idiot to not even understand the movie.
Thecarpaltunnelo 0
That movie is the best I have ever seen in my 16 years living. Gosh, it's just sex. Get over it.
alluneedisluv 0
:S oh lord
ddavila 0
Great movie shityy night hahaha!!!
TheMikeyT 3
Who else decided to see this movie after reading this FML? Viral marketing ftw!!
purple_sarah88 0
Cool I was planning to see this with my fiance on Valentine's Day but I thought it might be too heavy. Now I know it's hot and heavy! We'll probably be the couple making out in the back! It sucks that you got stuck seeing it with your family though, probably would have been less awkward if you'd just agreed to leave but sometimes it's hard to know what to say in awkward situations. I would have spilt a drink over the wanker too!
MarijuanaPanda 0
XD
samyslamajamma 0
Chapell rules!
zachdev 0
the same thing happened to me... except the old man part haha and that I'm a dude and I was with my mom