Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (219)
sorien1987 0
lol that's why I always sit atleast a seat away from everyone
Boomer21 0
well now look at the brightside. your pretty sure you heard the guy jacking off... at least he didn't blow a load into the back of your dome. :)
pandalover69 26
trust me that's nothing, try watching the orgy scenes from the 2nd season of true blood with your parents, now that is bad. that lesbian scene was nothing
omargod 0
lol ya know how the movie says "rated R" then list all the reasons? sexual content is a good marker that it's a don't watch with parents movie...lol good movie to watch with friend though hahaha
TaylorTotsYumm 10
That movie was fantastic. if you really read into it, you'd understand there's really nothing sexy about that scene at all. It's more terrifying than anything. It's not a porno :P and that scene is a vital part to the movie. Prude.
Cwfml_fml 0
You and the masterbater totally missed some of the best acting I've seen in a loooong time. Btw all the sexy scenes were offset but something totally not sexy.
tboudre 0
when does it cum out on DVD?
Lia_Mackenzie 4
I think you have to have a love for abnormal psychology to appreciate this movie. I'm on my way to being a clinical psychologist, and I can tell you that the various psychoses were portrayed artistically, but very accurately. Black Swan was a fantastic exploration of a mentally ill dancer succumbing to her disease. Also, the drug ecstasy is all about sensation enhancement, so, naturally, sex. There was nothing "porno" about this movie. Not to mention, with Mila representing Natalie's dark side, the "porno" scene was more about Natalie's character embracing and being overtaken by the darkness within her than anything. SO. OP, take some psych classes, grow a brain, and quit being a prude. (No) Love, Lia
Lia_Mackenzie 4
Sorry, *various types of psychopathology, not psychoses. Apparently typing and thinking don't go hand in hand for me today. ^^
FroggyTheHippie 0
hahaha. I saw that movie on a first date. awkward. XD
in_wonderland 1
dear god, everyone here is a complete prude. it is not "basically a" ******* "porno". there was ONE mildly graphic sex scene, its not like they were 69-ing, humping madly and screaming eachothers names with close up shots of their vag's. chill out bro.