Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
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Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
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Comments (219)
lmtlmt 7
It's basically a porno? Man was I wrong when I said it looked gay :/
I_R_Genius 3
Hey now, Natalie Portman is pretty hot for her age. I went to go see it with my girlfriend and to tell you the truth, it sucked so badly that I left half way through it.
blondbabe34c 0
she probably saw it when it first came out meaning no one would have seen it to talk about it
LilaBear 2
you do know that natalie portman is younger than 30, right? she's not exactly old.
LilaBear 2
actually i've read many articles about it and the "most talked about" part is how freaky natalie portman's character is and how much weight she lost for the role. I hadn't even heard about the lesbian sex scene.
LilaBear 2
thanks FML.... how about posting my comment on the right reply next time. Comment #28 was supposed to go in reply to #7
bebz_fml 0
hahaha yeah that movie was a bit weird
Mirequetz 6
OP... Seriously? One 2 minute scene constitutes the movie being a porno? YDI for being such a prude.
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
I_R_Genius 3
That's what movie trailers are for. Me and my girlfriend went to go see it and tbh, I hated it, I left halfway through with a refund on my money.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
i walked out right after the lesbian scene too and got my money back. SCORE
hotair10 9
What theater gives money back? Seriously, I want to know these things!
Kukua 5
Usually if you leave within 30 min you get a refund. too bad there is also usually 20 min of previews.
djmigues 7
I went with my girlfriend and hated it as well. It was stupid.
PeteyPablo12308 20
That is SUCH a good movie! I've seen it twice now. That is gross about the guy jacking off though :-P
bebz_fml 0
nice t-shirt 43. is that rugrats I see?
capt_awesome1 11
dude, so gna watch the movie now !
Macromartyr 3
The movie was awesome, and clearly the OP doesn't understand it if he said it just a Porno.
Mirequetz 6
A 2 minute scene =/= ****.
PageantGirlXOXO 16
ugh i would rather see it with my boyfriend then dad....
Skroal_stomper 5
What movie did you see OP? Not even close to a porno.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
That movie was fantastic. In my opinion, anyway.
matthewfrox251 0
I thought it was a great movie! but still inappropriate
smlz4me 1
who researches a movie?? ever heard of movie trailors on tv?? moron
JScherz28 4
hahahahahah
KaylieBieber13 0
xFalzz ur HOT!!!
infinity99_fml 3
Have you ever heard of spelling ?
dancygal123 0
Awkward...
rgermain 0
I can kinda relate. my rents bought a girl I was seeing and I tix to see Dave Chappelle do stand up. They wanted to go too so they grabbed a couple extra seats. Dave Chappelle is pretty raunchy and needless to say it made for an awkward car ride home.
AZMarine 0
it's the rippin and tearin guy behind you at the movies. (Tosh.0 reference)
daaron 3
shouldve turn around and shssssh him lol just like the guy in the subway train smooch smooch fingering motion WTF
stephanieface 0
I hope you didn't find a certain substance in the back of your hair afterwards..
SteelersBaby3 0
lmao oh god. that would be horrible.
prncssmimi2013 0
lmfaoooo agreed
waswashere 0
popcorn butter?!?!?
DieselBT 0
Is that... hair gel?
cherry72 13
lol
allan_069 0
lol that's funny. did you look back to see if he really was?
mrmerino 0
would you?
spanelli 16
Yeah! -.-
whoopyouupsideyo 0
I know I would have been. lol
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
i would have been 2 scared 2 look back
Doortje 30
So much for quality time with your family. Did your parents seem horny after that?
snafu63 0
Do you live under a rock? The lesbian scene is the most talked about part of that movie. ydi.
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
cmac86 24
^win
newjerseyguy 0
lol i agree completely
thezaincan 0
"basically a porno"? you're an idiot. also, why would you go see a movie with your parents that you apparently knew nothing about? once again...you're an idiot.
maalicious 0
I agree, the movie is good. it's not porno. op you're an idiot and ydi
prince122 0
haha ur number 69 way better then number one
Whorebiscuits 4
wow, you're stupid for writing "U R" Instead of ur or you're. retard. and st"uu"pid? last time I checked "stuupid" had one "u" you cant spell "stupid" without "u"
vanessagirrl96 0
Nazi.
Gomez_Vidal 0
1.That's a common expression people use when there is a prolonged sex scene. 2. Not everyone likes to look up the movie because it might ruin it. actually, the majority don't look it up at all. hence trailers.... 3. You calling her/him an idiot made me laugh. She made no illogical decisions, but you however made the illogical decision to come to conclusions so hastily by calling her stupid. if anything your the "idiot" here....
clk852 0
^agree
Foxy_On_Fire 21
I agree
AssDan 0
It's you're. Just saying.
MissSarcastic 3
I know seriously! Basically a Porno my ass! Obviously you don't understand what a Porno is; It was one damn sex scene and it didn't even show ****** or anything! Black Swan is a ******* good movie; For future reference.. Look up movies before going to see them. And sit far from men who look like they will jack off to anything they can get.
Missy612 14
Get over yourself
dezinspaaace 0
not really an fml kid.
agm2010 0
how did u get away with this? I got banned when I said that.!
dezinspaaace 0
really? oh snap! :/ and idk i just posted it and it appeared i guess..
agm2010 0
lol yeah I was nice too. I was like 'oh ur bf will forgive u...' and what u said and got an email that I was banned .:( lol
ohthebloodygore 16
Read the rules. The moderators probably haven't read your comment yet.
Kukua 5
What's wrong with her post?
JaydnGage 0
There are rules to posting comments? What happened to freedom of speech?