Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
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Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
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Comments (219)
FMiaVita 2
Oh my gosh! the same thing happened to me last saturday! i was with my mom and i was so uncomfortable having to see her have lesbian sex and ********** and get crotch grabbed by a girl and a guy. that was the most disturbing movie iv ever seen. she got mad that i went to see this "too mature movie." There were actually a lot of old ladies in the theater. i wounder how they felt.
Macadamia_fml 0
Umm, excuse me, but Black Swan is *not* "basically a porno". It's beautiful and unique. To describe it so degradingly is really immature. Maybe you shouldn't see movies like that at all if you can't understand the depth of the meaning and instead just think "omg lesbianz havin sex0rz!!"
symphonicx 2
sorry but if you think black swan is a porno then you're obviously inequipped to choose a suitable movie to watch with your parents. dumb.
chlorinator 0
The film was rated R for strong sexual content, among other things, and as other commenters have pointed out, a few minutes of lesbian sex does not a porno make. Also, the lesbian scene was pretty hyped, so it's hard to see how someone who knew anything about the movie going in could have not known it was coming. Ftr, I saw the movie with a male friend, and again later with my parents, and neither experience was uncomfortable.
redtigerlily 5
Way to be dramatic. It is safe to assume the guy behind you was doing no such thing. You obviously live a sheltered life to even consider that ****. I have worse things in my phone. Again. Way to be dramatic.
tpholden88 0
Actually that was me who was jerking off behind you. Except I wasn't jerking off to Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman ... I was jerking it to the back of your head! :()
DBanker 0
If you don't like art films don't watch them dumbshit.
SusannaLuv 0
Awww, the lesbian sex scene. My favorite part of the whole movie. :) Jk!
xxmollyxx 25
Basically a porno... wow.
Ishidoro 3
Well Black Swan wasn't really a porno at all. That was the only "sex scene" and it didn't even show anything. It was pretty damn hot the way they shot it though. Just sayin'!