Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mermaidkeels 26
I'm sure she feels horrible and will have other "surprises" to make up for it...and this time it won't include getting punched!
DesignOfHalogen 18
Nothing but tough love
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (14)
DesignOfHalogen 18
Nothing but tough love
FalloutScrolls 25
Was it because you cheated on her in the dream?
RpiesSPIES 27
If only you were a Masochist, you'd enjoy the surprise better.
SixthSinEnvy 39
A Halloween Birthday? That's awesome and to be honest that seems like the appropriate way to wake up with such an occasion. Happy Birthday!
TigranPet 24
Starting the day off with a bang!
mermaidkeels 26
I'm sure she feels horrible and will have other "surprises" to make up for it...and this time it won't include getting punched!
Magnoxidans 19
What if he likes being punched during other surprises? :P
Arshoo14 2
But it still may include screaming :D
bigmeechay666 8
It's my birthday today too!
RichardPencil 32
Tell her next year you'd prefer a nice wake-up *******.
Medieval_Unicorn 24
I have to hand it to you, your username is one of the best puns I've heard in a while, keep it up
interesting33 37
I had a dream last night that a snake was under the skin in my arm and then it bit itself out but there were still many maggots in it I had to dig out. I didn't scream.