Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
'Murica
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Not under my watch!
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Incomplete freedom
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
News to me
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Not the best reaction
Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!
EddiE_CN 8
Don't visit him when you are on leave
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Comments (216)
EddiE_CN 8
Don't visit him when you are on leave
nattynatters 14
Challenge accepted!!!!!
imustbeinsane 2
And tell him pussy skips a generation so you should be fine
gregorrok1 0
Well now Is the time to join we're no longer at war!!!
Souners 3
We actually still are at war. Still inside Afghanistan and a few other places. But op, there's always the Navy, or the branch I love and have been a part of for 6 years now and counting, the AF.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
56, whether you are a plane mechanic or a jet pilot, I admire the air force. They got balls to go up there and get shot at from all directions with 0 cover, and suppor our marines down low
rexgar2000 10
actually the Airforce is mostly safe up there than us, chances of them getting hit at that height and speed are very slim. But everyone has their own opinion.
Kelita 0
75 your hot, just saying. :)
Souners 3
I'm actually a Sensor Operator (UAVs), so I truly do look over the Marines and Army troops while they are on the ground. I have a lot of respect for both, and love a job where I am a huge reason of why the enemy goes down our troops.
castlebabii 6
Really ? If you can't take a lil comment from your dad like that maybe its not a good idea cuz wen you get there in training it's gunna be 10times worse!!!
tbone87 1
Thanks for the life story souners.
reaganomics 6
#92 OPSEC.....and not all members of the Air Force are in a plane, my job required me to go over the wire for extended periods of time....side note: op go for it, do not let one person discourage you from a goal
hellbilly205 17
Well first off your dad should be supportive of you joining, secondly seriously take it as training from you're dad because thats nothing compared to basic training pussy.
LolFMLnot 10
94 it's different when you don't have your dad's support.
jabfinch 9
Cause you've been. Yeeup.
deadman93 8
how about not being a douch to a man who helps keep your freedom.
hellbilly205 17
I dont even know my dad first off, so automaticly i dont have his support, and second off it doesnt matter if iv'e been or not i know its no cake walk and if he cant take that from his dad he should probaly think of another line of work.
icanhazblivions 1
yep. haha. think about it.
DreBeezy 9
Shoulda came back with "Well, I guess you're right if it's like father like son."
alqahtmm 0
Exactlly
Souners 3
157 - It actually is a cakewalk compared to being deployed. Once oversees for over 6 months without seeing family and living in that environment, you'll be wishing it was as easy as basic training.
BigBacker 0
113 you're a pussy hick and I'd beat your ass pussy. I don't think the army should have **** up hicks.
hellbilly205 17
Haha 203 you made me laugh i sure aint no pussy yes im a hick but i dont see your logic in me being a pussy or why you would wanna beat me up cause honestly you would lose and you dont even know
lol_ironic_life 9
You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!
emvictoria 9
Prove him wrong and do it :)
mnblkjpoi 0
My parent said the same thing to me too when I said I wanted to join the army.
xiaoxaio 5
Dont join army, they accept anybody, join the marines!
rexgar2000 10
You kidding me kid you not even old enough to join anything it shows how you dont know what you're talking about. Now days for people that try to join they get turn down. I respect your support for the marines but next time if you wanna talk shit, make sure you're at least in the military or old enough to join.
SemperFi_23 6
74- The army is just as honorable as the Marines. And OP don't listen to Your douche bag dad. The military is a great thing and if you are motivated then just do it. Your dad may be saying this now but imagine how proud he would be to be proven wrong.
Vo13c3s1nMyH3ad 7
All branches have a job and do it well. I'm a Marine and still respect every branch and appreciate their job!
honeybuncher 3
tell your father hes a moob(:if you were considering joining,you are obviously not a pussy.
ikickgingers 15
Considering isn't doing ...
CryMoreFMLs 15
It takes guts if he was seriously considering it. It's not an easy thing to do.
ananonymousguy 0
I've considered it and I'm a pansy lmao, well I'm a lazy pushover. But still, as that guy said, considering isn't doing.
ikickgingers 15
Guts to me is doing something not talking about Doing it. My dad was career and i have friends and family in right now. I have the utmost respect for people who do. However, if you ain't backing your shit up - you're just talking.
dyble95 0
Guts or bravery is doing something you have an extreme fear of and still persevering. Although some one may look brave they could really be just adrenaline junkies and I would consider a man who is extremely afraid but wants to serve for is country and feels strongly about doing so and ends up doing it more brave then some one who just wasn't born with any fear.
jabfinch 9
99.99% of the time you have to consider something in order to do it, I think it's more of a step in a few to deciding if the armed forces are right for you.
laden_swallow09 35
Where'd you come up with that statistic?
shazza26 1
Stand up for yourself! It takes bravery and courage to join the army!
FunkyAndFresh 7
Prove him wrong then? :)
MarjoCupcake 11
Join the Marines and prove his ass wrong. :D
hellbilly205 17
Whats wrong with joining the army...if he wants to be army thats just as good as marines
smoke_eater05 0
Not quite. We may have the same mission, but why else would Marines protect the embassies? Or why our boot camp is at least a month longer than the others? Or that since I completed Marine boot camp, I never have to go to Army or Air Force basic or Navy boot camp. Or why would the Somalis tell their people not to shoot at Marines. They'll shoot back. The list goes on but I think the most important one is that our dress blues are a hell of a lot sexier than any other branch's! Cpl, USMC
CabooseWins 0
115- I think the bottom line is "don't **** with the US military."
jabfinch 9
-115 respect but, in most cases your boot camp isn't longer. The physical aspect may be, but when you join the army you have to go to AIT after boot camp which is considered an extended part of your training to specialize you in your particular job. It can last anywhere from 2 weeks through 2 years. Marines are massed. That's why they're chosen to protect specific places. Even if, I still respect you for joining.
deadman93 8
me being Army i have to admit i like the Marine dress uniform.... except the cover.
hellbilly205 17
Yea my AIT is 10 weeks, longer than the physical boot camp but still its an extension of it like mentioned earlier
efemel94 7
Just to point out - has the u.s military ever successfully won any war (not counting the ww1/ww2 as other countries were fighting alongside them)?
thetroll69 1
161- revolutionary war, korean war, spanish american war
osiris39p 3
164 imma let you finish but the korean war isn't over. It's been at a ceasefire fir a while
THE_A_TEEN 28
******* asshole, the army is is the MAIN fighting force of the US military. Yet you use your status as a marine as some elitist shit status to bash your brother at arms. Disgraceful. I don't respect douchebags like you, go **** yorself in your sleep.
footbalperson09 0
... marines got to marine combat training(if they are not infantry) for a month after bootcamp and then mos school whick can be 2 weeks to 2 years... just saying, but props to all branches
MarjoCupcake 11
Don't get me wrong, I completely respect the Army and the Navy and the rest of the branches, but there is a reason they send Marines in first. They get shit done, they do it right the first time. Their training is the longest besides the SEALs, and that's after preliminaries of the Navy. My fiancee is a Marine and although it sucks he was gone for 13 weeks and I saw him for 10 days, and then he left again (motor t), he's happy he gets to serve his country, and I think that's damn respectable. Plus, the dress blues are just hot. ;)
StreetReaper 9
Lets get a few facts straight here. The Marines are the first to go in because the president does not require congressional approval to deploy the Marines. he does require congressional approval to deploy the Army. There are different mission philosphies with the two branches. The Marines are a shock and awe battle strategy. The Army is an occupation strategy. If you absolutely, positively need something destroyed overnight, you send in the Marines. A Marine, regardless of specialty or rate/rank is a rifleman first and foremost. A soldier can be a cook who hasn't touched a rifle since basic training. This does not diminish the role of our Army. Each branch has their stregnths and weaknesses, and we utilize those strengths with optimal effect. It is true, Marine and Navy Boot Camp is longer than Army and Air Force basic, but there is more information to be processed and physical requirements demanded of these respective branches. It has been my privilege to stand beside "My" Marines. I have never known a finer example of discipline, honor and brotherhood. They took care of me as much as I took care of them. For the moron who says we have never won a war. The US has won every declared war. The politics of all our undeclared wars has gotten our collective ass in a sling. Plus, let me clear the air...anyone who has been there, hates war more than the protesters. If OP wants to join, let him join whichever branch has the training he is after. Which one will serve him later in life if he decides against a military career. he is not weak, he is raw. The drill instructors will teach him what he needs to be a well disciplined young man. Good luck to you OP. StreetReaper, FMF HMC OohRah!
TheNewGuy03 29
Dear 169, 1) Your attitude blows whale dick. 2) Marine training might be "longer," but Ranger training is harder. No, seriously. Anyway, I respect the Marines. There's a reason they're part of the spearhead. |the kid|
Dominik222 4
ooh ****** ra
Beebow_fml 5
Do the Captain America thing, you just need to find the military doctor working on the top secret super soldiers.
Freeze_fml 17
Well they're cutting down on all the gay hate, so go for it.
AliCat18 12
Your dad is an asshole! I would totally join and prove him wrong. come back when you get leave and look at him and say "HAHAHAHA who's the pussy now?"
Mister_Triangle 21
I think that's what the dad's plan is, but OP is too much of a pussy to realize it
Kelita 0
If he wasn't a pussy then he wouldn't be whining about it right now. Blah blah blah...FML......pussy.
VoteForTaco 8
Owned.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Failure for you, Mr. Taco...
VoteForTaco 8
I know...I realised it after I posted it.