Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
cwbsmoker 5
Just before I got on the fml server I had just preformed a VERY successful Dutch oven on my girlfriend oh what you poor women have to put up with. Bahahaha:B
mariejinx 1
back up slowly and get the hell out before you get legally bound to this kid... i mean man!
kellyXbeanz 3
ewwww no don't marry that guy big mistake to do!! don't marry him !! ewww thats why I'm into girls -__- smh!
asdfjklol 0
Hes a keeper
Elmoo_fml 16
You still actually want to marry this guy?
dagr22 1
At least you didn't do it to him
phatdaddy62 23
You said yes! Ydi
JohnnySucks 0
I can foresee a divorce in the near future(;
Livviegurl99 11
if my boyfriend did that to me, i would cockbolt him till he beggs
Thorzix 23
You're not married yet, not too late to cancel before you loose half your stuff!