Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, my long-term boyfriend and I went on a romantic getaway. In the hotel we were having great sex, I was so close to… and then he farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
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Top comments
datoismyname 22
Did you keep going?
RochelleRedvines 8
...Are you okay?
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Comments (192)
heyhihello95 12
FAIL
AnonymousTroll 2
I'd say sex at your house stinks.
abbyelizabeth 9
Maybe it was a fail but sex shouldn't always be extremely romantic 24/7. Memories like that or what really makes a relationship.
doctorwhogirl 0
giggity
humorizer 14
"Now for the next fourth months he's going to remember " At least he will only remember it every fourth month as opposed to every/every second/every third months.
gunmania0 12
humorizer? What an inappropriate name...
drlove78843 6
If the sex was good then he'll probably won't remember anything else
The_Plagiarizer 4
Not everything is as simple as a FAIL or non-FAIL. Sometimes theres some silver lining. Then again, sometimes everything goes to shit, its a toss up
urdirtyolduncle 15
83- LOL is that David villa in ur pic?
humorizer 14
It's actually appropriate if folks have the same sense of humor that I do. I used word play there. I suppose I can make Justin Bieber/Twilight/sex jokes like everyone else, but I try to troll my own way. If ya don't like it, fine by me. :)
periwinkle95 10
Honestly, this is the first time I hear of "Goodbye Sex". What animals people are these days.
periwinkle95 10
I just re-read the FML. I understood it differently at first. Sorry. Here come the thumbs-downs!
humorizer 14
^ I'll give ya a thumbs up just be contrary. Feel free to thumb this down as much as you can. I wanna see if it beats my record of about 36.
SomeBossOnHere 5
At least you'll probably stay together?
honeybuncher 3
ya!those who share farts stay together(: sorry that was stupid.
sugarandspice33 0
Girls can't fart!
JacobWithaY 5
Did he laugh too?
leprechaun23 15
You deserve it for having goodbye sex
GoW_Chick 15
19- that wasn't stupid it's the truth. People should appreciate the little things in a relationship more often because they tend to go unnoticed these days.
leprechaun23 15
OP deserves it for having goodbye sex
periwinkle95 10
Girls don't fart. God placed an ROF in their bodies. It stands for "Restriction of Farting". Every girl has one! :)
Serythvalker 7
Watch CollegeHumour's video on YouTube. It explains why we men never see/hear girls do it.
whatwhyhoo 10
Was there a girl involved?
RainXD 0
zOMAIGAWD DID IT SMELL
RochelleRedvines 8
...Are you okay?
Liimitless 6
Where's DocBastard when u need him?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Well we need an emergency operation on this guy's overactive stupidity gland, so he needs to make the choice to attend to this obviously more urgent matter over something stupid like a liver transplant or whatever else he's doing right now.
MedKits 9
My diagnosis is...moron.
DocBastard 40
Some people are undiagnosable. I have a feeling there is no diagnosis code for this guy's ailment.
Liimitless 6
We lost him....
flockz 20
*beep*
xSonic 9
I'm honored to be in the same thread as these people Yeah, I'm a loser.......
AnonymousTroll 2
That awkward moment when you think of the perfect reply but I'm too late... Btw, it's 'no shit'
AnonymousTroll 2
That awkward moment when you think of the perfect reply but you're way too late... Btw it's 'no shit'
AnonymousTroll 2
Y u no edit instead of reply??
datoismyname 22
Did you keep going?
EatnBeef 7
OP, I'm sure he thought it was cute:) But I myself would have burried you alive for that.
datoismyname 22
That was just uncalled for dude.
SecretMe00 5
Dude I totally have been there!! Except it was doggy style and he saw the hole open and close. It was hilarious! I think it's a good memory!
Llama_Face89 34
95- that's a bit more information than I wanted to know...
SecretMe00 5
Y'all don't have a sense of humor. Seriously if you think about it, it's hilarious... Along with awkwardness and all that good stuff. It's an inside joke that only you and your partner experience together. I think it helps with closeness. 5 years down the road, he and I are extremely close and open about everything!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
109 - Yeah, YOU and YOUR boyfriend have been close for five years to be that comfortable with each other. We, the readers of FML, are not. Please keep that disgusting info to yourself. It was not humor, it was just... Ew. *shivers*
asnell98 8
109, I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that..
flux_panic 18
Doesn't matter, had sex.
SecretMe00 5
Y'ALL ARE LAME!!
SecretMe00 5
Y'all are forgetting about the FML .... Wasn't that what this whole FML was about?! I didn't share any more then what OP did. You should expect to see some disturbing stories and should be a mature adult and handle them like so.
datoismyname 22
Just shut up already.
shannonreneee 11
167, just stop. Please.
SecretMe00 5
I would shut up if you didn't continue. You keep going, why can't I...
gamercanadian 11
Than ye please shut up
teentee401 37
167: All the OP said was that she had sex. You shared the position and the fact that holes opened and closed. You definitely shared more than the OP did.
Monkeyone 0
Sucks for you!
luongo6 0
That must stink
Poser1337 5
Does it really?
emochicksrule 1
Wow nice memories those are.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Ah, the irony.
CaptainPickles72 18
The irony.... is so beautiful, isn't it Shrooms?
Crystal55621 19
110- IT!!!
abundy 0
That's why it's an FML dumb ass..
GoW_Chick 15
Anybody else read 6's comment in a yoda voice?
thenoobftw 3
Did it smell good? Lol
jillianmathers12 13
What do you think Sherlock?
thenoobftw 3
It was a joke Watson.
SilverInGray 25
Like roses.
humorizer 14
Like shit, sherlock.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Smelled good enough to eat!
snowmount07 6
Time to hire a hypnotist
madgrinchhatter 12
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
calithebandgeek 0
Dutch oven?
elk21dbm 18
I honestly don't understand the point of goodbye sex
marthagayo 14
10, it's sex. To say goodbye! Duh
madgrinchhatter 12
Not like breakup sex, it's for if someone is going somewhere for awhile (in this case 4 months) its the last time they'll have sex with each other.
elk21dbm 18
Oooh okay. Thanks 34!