Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML
Today, for the very first time I got it on with my girlfriend. Unfortunately, afterwards I had a terrible tummy ache and let out a very noisy fart. I'm not sure she'll still be my girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I did a 69 for the first time and I was on the bottom. When she orgasmed, not only did she fart, a bit of poo came out with the fart, and actually went up my nose. I’ve gone through a whole box of tissues blowing my nose, but I can still smell it. FML
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Top comments
homesuckfucker 28
I'm sorry your girlfriend would be so disrespectful. Things that happen in an intimate situation should remain intimate. Did you let her know it makes you uncomfortable? Communication is important in a relationship, after all. Perhaps she could convince your friends to stop. If not, they'll forget about it once it stops being entertaining. Pretend it doesn't bother you! Play along with it! That's how you shake off elementary school bullies, and they seem to be at about that level of maturity.
LaColombianita 26
Lmao that's hilarious, but I definitely would have kept that as an inside joke between the 2 of you only..
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Comments (97)
emmatheamazingx 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's embarrassing OP
emmatheamazingx 17
But make best of the situation
wvcheesehead 13
The Mandarin says "and you'll never hear me coming"
PokeyPorcupine 18
That's seriously funny.! Smile and take it in stride.
desoxyn242 14
I think it's a good nickname
boating_guy 33
It's funny, as long as it isn't you
riffehunter 16
There could be worse ways to earn that nickname.
everlastingsnow_fml 14
Should have played it cool and ask her to bring you a beer right after.
Nolimit2217 32
Why be embarrassed? You're a man, we both cum and fart.. Sometimes at the same time!
MidnaLink 35
Not that other people should know about it. Especially if it happened at an inopportune time like sex.
homesuckfucker 28
I'm sorry your girlfriend would be so disrespectful. Things that happen in an intimate situation should remain intimate. Did you let her know it makes you uncomfortable? Communication is important in a relationship, after all. Perhaps she could convince your friends to stop. If not, they'll forget about it once it stops being entertaining. Pretend it doesn't bother you! Play along with it! That's how you shake off elementary school bullies, and they seem to be at about that level of maturity.
tehdarkness 21
Dude, they hadn't has sex in a month. Something's not right.
weatherxveins 29
Maybe one of them has been away for work or vacation, or one of them was really sick for awhile..
homesuckfucker 28
Sex is not everything in a relationship. My girlfriend and I are very much in love and don't get to have sex very often. Now, there is a possibility that OP's girlfriend is losing interest. I'm not denying that. But it's wrong to make false assumptions. There are a number of reasons why they might not have had sex, and disinterest is just one.
Vegetarian27 24
Guys spill everything to their mates. It's hardly ridiculous to expect a girl to return the favour.
homesuckfucker 28
I personally think what happens in the bedroom should STAY in the bedroom, unless you're fishing for someone to join in.
kirasant 19
"Ignore it or play along" doesn't work with elementary school bullies or male friends. This girl could well have gotten OP labeled "CumFart" for the rest of his life. I've got a friend that has been called by his embarrassing high school nickname so long it was on his wedding invitations.
homesuckfucker 28
We obviously keep different company. :/
enginsteve 17
I find it hilarious that homesuckfucker is so in touch with his inner side and is explaining the benefits of communication in a relationship.. Just go homesuckfucker.. Lmao
homesuckfucker 28
I apologize if my screen name leads you to a false conclusion regarding my personality and level of intellect.
homesuckfucker 28
Wait. My "inner side"? What the hell?
Vickeh 15
I feel ya OP. Some people are just tactless...
19990231 29
What happens in ****** stays in ******.
brasiliano 16
You sir just won the internet for today.
allie2590 31
Technically the fart happened outside of the ******.
LaColombianita 26
Lmao that's hilarious, but I definitely would have kept that as an inside joke between the 2 of you only..
NightHawk387 22
I think it should be pointed out that is not what a cumfart is.
Exodiafinder687 58
Do I even want to know? Do any of us even really want to know? Still somebody will Google it. Just keep a bucket or trashcan nearby for when you Google it.
krystenk93 23
#22, There is always Urban Dictionary for stuff like this!
ChevyLovzYou2 21
It's when after a guy shoots his load into a girl's butt, she farts the semen out... gross right?
False_Stupidity 42
You just HAD to go and share that, didn't you #48. I WAS enjoying my breakfast....
riffehunter 16
71 extra glaze for those cinnamon rolls?
cdncw 20
Someone had to explain it! :D
devildog562 33
Blew two loads.