Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend, who I thought was finally out of my life for good, is now dating my new manager. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML
Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my ex's new girlfriend. I found out he was dating us both at the same time and was comparing between us. That is why he broke up with me two years ago and is still with her ever since. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me to a restaurant on a surprise date. I guess he didn't know that my ex-boyfriend now works there, and that he would be our waiter for the evening. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy and we decided to go see a movie. As we were walking in, I saw my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend. I tried to avoid them, but my left heel got caught in a crack in the pavement and I fell face-first onto the ground. My ex and his girlfriend saw me, laughed, and walked off. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I found out he was seeing someone behind my back: my ex-boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Tell them all the movies are NC-17 and they are not allowed in. Even if they have valid IDs, just tell them that they are fakes and you won't let in 15-year-olds. You still have some power. Use it.
cradle6 13
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
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Comments (113)
Olovio 5
I find this hilarious.
pimplefacedgirly 8
Ironic maybe, hilarious no.
thisisafunnyname 12
More hilarious if OP slipped laxatives and sleep medicine in their food.
pimplefacedgirly 8
Well duh! But if he didn't, it's just ironic.
GoW_Chick 15
Aw that's terrible OP I hope karma caught up with your ex so they had a terrible date.
BradPittiful 4
I like how mostly all of the commenters think OP is a girl, and the boyfriend is a guy. But then again... Op could be gay.... Or....
skullcandifiedDJ 5
1- I find your fail comment to be quite hilarious....
princessbits 17
Good thing you guys broke up. She sounds like a hoe.
RrLSf19 0
1, then your an ass whose probably never been in a relationship.
RaggleFrock 13
What's really bad is that he obviously knew she worked there. Fyl
Kukua 5
SHE obviously knew HE worked there.
VertigoF8 2
11 - One day you'll learn the definition of irony and then I might be able to hold an ounce of respect for you
endeleanx 3
She sounds like a garden tool?
sinisterplot 0
63, so true, so true and very good btw
flamegrilled123 3
What a player
xSonic 9
No, she's probably just a hoe. Obviously she was talking to that guy previously, meaning she was probably flirting with him while she was still in the relationship with Op.
downtime 13
22, What do you think a player is? A respectful person who adheres to proper ethical conduct in their relationships? Things must have really changed since I was a teenager...
Daederoth 10
At least it was their first date. As opposed to there 10th date and you'd only been broken up for 24 hours.
KatherineAnne 7
Yeah I agree with 83 haha as soon as I broke up with my ex he is in a relationship with the other girl and she was posting happy one month on his wall haha But she's prolly not a player just trying to make him jealous. Just sayin.
abductedllama 0
Shes probably just trying to make you jealous
MerkathonPro 0
He works fast.
nutella830 0
Wouldn't it be "She works fast"...
elliottthefmlgod 0
DID YOU JUST ASSUME THEIR GENDER
Thebestman123 3
No that's legal now. (in some spots).
IKickPuppiesHard 16
I see what you did there.
Kukua 5
It was always legal. They're just dating after all.
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
Looks like she's over youu. Get a girlfriend and bring her around. See if she's jealous. Maybe she was just tryna get you jealous.
kelissa_fml 16
That sucks. But you'll find someone better! :)
downtime 13
And if he doesn't he can hold you responsible for following through on that comment, right?
NanillaVipples 2
Our parents taught us to share our used toys to those less fortunate.
graham11 14
What a piece of shit! The next time he sees you and your new girlfriend will be when you are making out at the movie theater ;)
graham11 14
*she Oops..different gender totally changes the scenario.
deebaybeee19 6
wow. you must of meant SO much to her. fyl
evebright 5
Have. Must HAVE meant so much. "Of" is not correct. Geez.
cradle6 13
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
asnell98 8
Just found new words if wisdom.
trippythehippy 6
Amen.
ashbaby2014 5
Good motto
ICATiger 13
Overcharge him for all his popcorn!!!
flockz 20
it's already about eight dollars overprice, give or take a dollar.
perdix 31
Tell them all the movies are NC-17 and they are not allowed in. Even if they have valid IDs, just tell them that they are fakes and you won't let in 15-year-olds. You still have some power. Use it.
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Unless of course he works at the concession stand. In which case he'd have to settle for spitting on their food.
ohSNAPyall 27
New boyfriend's favorite movie candy is Milk Duds. Stealthy.
TheMilkmanGamer 3
That's a great way to get fired