Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Get out of here
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Rookie mistake
Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Top comments
cameronman9 2
Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?
comedybreak 20
This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her
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Comments (249)
1710_fml 0
That's badass why would you not like that
Sir_drink_alot 20
It could be worse, you could be the one who knocked her up
comodysweat 2
I would've let her... No shame in a woman stripping for formula.
dwilhelm 7
Did you have to pay extra for it?
s8n666 0
This is not an FML, it's a WIN!
OfficeNinja 5
That's why you avoid the low rent strip clubs. Or, you decline a lap dance from the pregnant strippers. Tip them $5 to go away. The real FML goes to the baby, who will probably be born with two black eyes.
bugmenotmofo 34
You say it like it's a bad thing!
pennylane18240 0
Shes nasty for stripping being all prego and how u gonna say fml u let her do it more like f her babys life im not saying strippers are bad ppl but lactation and stripping dont really go together theres a future brittany spears
ThomasScott 7
Yum
tigers1351 2
He's not your Bambino, you just spit on him.