Anonymous
Clermont, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
sexyfreak2510
South Africa
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Cpt Colin
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Get out of here
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Anonymous
Groningen, Netherlands
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
SCARRED
Kansas City, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Anonymous
Madison, United States
Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
ShayisPay101
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
baron
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Big B
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
dreamisugly
🌶️ Spicy
Rookie mistake
Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML
kte
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Top comments
cameronman9 2
Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?
comedybreak 20
This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her
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Comments (249)
Sk1ttles 0
unless she cuffed you to a chair and forcefully came on to you... your life doesn't suck. Its your fault...lol.
leggoo7 1
Did you feel her baby kick?
zachlibby 4
Only in Florida
gracer530 1
Were you in Reno? Poor mans Vegas? Lol
Ray_of_midnight 23
I have the weirdest boner right now... Seriously, if you're not into pregnant women, and she was obviously pregnant, why did you go for the lap dance? I've been to strip clubs and gotten lap dances, and every single time I've been able to get a good look at the dancer beforehand. And yeah, I've had to turn down some rather unattractive women who were trying to sell me on the idea of a lap dance.
BecomeMine 0
And you were ok with it??
Calyx_fml 22
Could be hot. Some pregnant women are.
PoppaSoda 5
Been there!!
spottyblanket 8
So what op? Women do get pregnant! SHOCKER! And yes, our whole world doesn't stop when we do. We are allowed to carry on working until maternity leave, etc. Get over it.
groupleader 7
Bragger!