Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Great, I guess
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML
Short-lived
Today, I found out I’m pregnant and got excited. We’d never discussed kids before since we’ve only been dating a year, but I was so happy… until I told him, and his face just fell. I left after he drank himself unconscious and I’m now at my mum's house FML
Prevention
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Emotional
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
Planned parenthood
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML
Congrats!
Today, I found out my husband is having a baby. Too bad I'm not pregnant. FML
Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge, I'm trying not to lose my head
Today, and since I found out that I'm pregnant, I've been sober. I used to smoke weed to help with me depression and anxiety, but now I can't even take prescription medicine for it. I'm about to throw hands at this point. FML
Top comments
Lioness8197 18
You really picked a winner:) Good luck and congrats!
elk21dbm 18
Congratulations on the baby!
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Comments (153)
Lioness8197 18
You really picked a winner:) Good luck and congrats!
dperrier9 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
A mans gotta do what a mans gotta do... Probably getting his licks in before he's permanently trapped in parenthood
Lioness8197 18
I wonder how long it took him to do all that stuff until his friends dragged him home.
Athleticism 11
#16-Have you seen the 5 hour energy commercials? I think you would know then.
SammyS2012 21
That's what a bachelor party is for. And if you're going to regret getting married/having a family, why do the commitment in the first place?
marxistbkly 3
Who in their right mind would lick a stripper . . . or did you mean he licked his bros?
happle 21
6- My boyfriend doesn't feel the need to do any of that because he doesn't see parenthood as a "trap."
ZombieSnoopy 9
Parenthood shouldn't be considered a trap if that person considers it that then clearly they shouldn't be a parent
kxxjoejoexxk 8
Practice bachelor party run
Vashen 5
36 - So you're 16 and commenting on parenthood. Under 18 with kids is a trap. May not seem like it. But, parental obligations, no parties, no finishing high school, no decent employment. But hey, look on the bright side. You have an offspring that hasn't 'trapped' you :-)
StalkerChick 13
47- I didn't wanna be the asshole to say it, but I was thinking the same thing.
happle 21
47- I never said I had a kid. But if I did, I know my boyfriend would take the responsibility to help me raise it.
alexgray 7
Not every teenager that has a kid drops out of school, you know? Or doesn't have a social life..
TheDrifter 24
Love your optimism Happle. I became a father at 18, and I was stoked, but let me tell you, it IS a trap. Possibly one you'll love being caught in, but there is no leaving, and no more being a kid. It changes everything, and there is no course or training manual for how to deal with the new realities. Some people snap, some become better people.
rangermedic77 5
54- haha you know nothing of teenage boys if you believe that shit! Your relationship will not last much longer anyways, your a kid, I'd put my tuition fund on it.
stargirl_95 24
77 - not all teenage relationships end quickly. I'm 17 and I dated the same guy for five years. I have other friends who have been in relationships for longer than about two years. While I do understand that the average teenage relationship lasts about 6 months or less, not every teen is the same and not every relationship is the same. Oh, and *you're a kid
DelphiCat 17
I do not believe that 77 was implying teenage relationships are always short, rather that they usually don't make it out of the teen years. Especially when you leave high school and move away for work/uni and meet all sorts of new people, which can change you a lot and also make you wonder if it's really worth the effort of your 500mile distant relationship.
Sputnikspak 13
I was 17 when I started dating my partner, we've been together ten years. My Mom was a month away from turning 18 when she got married. They've been together 35 years. Didn't get pregnant until she was 28 - but not all teen relationships fail. I agree with the commenter who said teen parenthood either makes you grow up fast and become a better person, or sends you 'round the bend. I firmly believe in birth control (and birth control education), and also in the right to choose. I couldn't be a parent - if I somehow managed to get pregnant despite having a 99% chance of being infertile? I'd have to terminate the pregnancy. No choice, I have a bad autoimmune condition and it would be way too dangerous for me and the potential child. But even if I weren't sick? I don't want kids, never have, my partner doesn't want them, so I'd terminate it anyway without feeling guilty. Glad to live in Canada, where we have that choice.
penguinazul 13
95, I'm not knocking you at all or anything for your choices, but if I were you, I'd just get my tubes tied and forget about it. It just seems like a waste of time/money/effort to keep taking hormonal birth control your whole life if you're 100% sure you don't want to have children.
elk21dbm 18
Congratulations on the baby!
birdfreak 24
Wow. He seems pretty excited. Congrats though! :)
Rogersmoonshine 7
I think what she meant by that is your children aren't always actually your children.
wowlolreally 12
Welcome to parenthood
daliagrande 17
Having your husband come home shitfaced from the strip club is not parenthood....
rgriff27 19
But he is SUCH a great role model.
CodeXana 9
41: No, but in 16-18 years it could be her son, then if would be parenting. With an upstanding role-model daddy like that, who knows how the kid will turn out?
ee13lbp 4
I thought they wouldn't let a 16 year old into a strip club...
sig4life 18
Congrats. A few years ago, I would probably have done the same thing. He probably doesn't think he will be able to do any of that again for a long while.
ZombieSnoopy 9
He probably shouldn't do it ever again
spacetravel 1
Is that necessary? Ever?
nicole86 8
That's just because he won't be able to get shit faced & party for another 18yrs! :) Congrats!
happle 21
My mom still gets shit faced and parties and I'm only 16.
PrincessLiLi_fml 7
Happle, do you ever stop talking about yourself? Seriously, there's no need to reply to every comment with a fact about yourself/your life.
happle 21
Sorry for sharing. You don't have to read the comments.
buddy51 23
Princess Crankypants......
stargirl_95 24
I'm with happle here, plenty of people don't let being parents stop them from getting shitfaced. For example, my parents invited all their friends over for Christmas and I got to watch them get shitfaced and party into the early hours of the morning.
charvisioku 22
52, wtf? Calm down.
breezyblue33 19
Congrats on the baby, OP! Hopefully your hubby was just in shock and he'll come around. Good luck!
jgriff79 23
He will give your kid one helluva 21st birthday party.
Carli_M 8
He's a keeper...
lilhellian 27
Like Oh MAH GRAVY so totally!
B5B0N35 18
you no funny
BlackPhenom 9
I guess he was going for a last call kind of thing. Just tell him that weed and alcohol mixed together is a bad idea. No reason to get carried away.
supportcommand 17
actually weed and alcohol mix very well together. Try it. You'll like it.