Baustigt
Perth, Australia
Who you gonna call?
Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML
Top comments
decko44 7
Omnomnom wall flavor!
DocBastard 40
I'm assuming this is that bulldog in your profile picture, right? You're lucky though - strange noises in the hall are usually poltergeists, so I'm shocked SHOCKED! that it wasn't a specter. But don't walk out there to investigate! Next time just walk into the light like the crazy little lady says.
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Comments (133)
SkoomaKi 28
Sounds like my friend's dog who likes to lick wallpaper.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
Dehydrated plaster. Make sure he drinks plenty of water.
SkoomaKi 28
5 - Actually spot passed away from a fungal infection a month after he started licking the walls...
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
At least he didn't run into a car windshield..
xcarxcrashx 9
The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!!!
blackheart24 10
^ you scare me. No offense.
allard 14
I'm sorry, but the only thing I gained from xcarcrashx's comment was 'A car crash killed lily and James potter? It's an outrage, a scandal!'
decko44 7
Omnomnom wall flavor!
igive 29
with a hint of paint chips. bon appetite!
LightningCactus 12
Livers sell for allot, these poltergeists must be some serious business maters.
BloodMonger13 9
awwwwwww u stole my comment
nick315 8
Well he should be on strange addictions then.
LaughinStock 16
Nah my pitbull does that too. I yell at her asking WTF she's doing, she looks at me and proceeds with her activity.
nick315 8
Maybe it taste good....if I were you next time if join your dog to see.
pimpcracker 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
apparently u need to feed it... or just send him to the pound like I would
DogsPaw 16
Can we send you too? Purrty Plz!
Jaxx66 21
Why not train the dog? Or get him bones... Just because you are incapable of caring for a creature and helping to get rid of their bad habits doesn't mean everyone is. You shouldn't get animals.
shannonreneee 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
25, just because the dog got bored at night doesn't mean it's not cared for properly. Dogs misbehave all the time, doesn't mean the owner shouldn't own animals.
Jaxx66 21
37, notice I used 4's post to reply too? I was specifically speaking to him, not thread jacking.
leogirl95 12
4-You're a douche. I figured that out by just looking at your picture.
SkoomaKi 28
4 - If you're posting a pic like that then you must be looking for a **** huh? Well I know a half dead hermaphrodite that might be interested...
mrssuarez2011 12
Instead of just neutering animals, I vote we neuter you.
shift_love 13
Holy god damn #4, you're a ******* idiot.
Genoc123 5
Right!
linkinpark98 24
Douche. -_-
st3phr0 2
#4 what an asshole u r!!
Vash_41288 10
While I do agree 4s comment was less then appealing I don't think a pic should Label you a douche though, just my thought though..@61
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
My grandma used to have a dog that ate the wall. Maybe we're missing out. We shouldn't be building walls and decorating them, we should eat them instead.
DocBastard 40
I'm assuming this is that bulldog in your profile picture, right? You're lucky though - strange noises in the hall are usually poltergeists, so I'm shocked SHOCKED! that it wasn't a specter. But don't walk out there to investigate! Next time just walk into the light like the crazy little lady says.
slick5880 22
Liver stealing poltergeists are becoming a major problem these days.
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, the dog was possessed by a liver eating poltergeist, just not a smart one. He was trying to get the dog into your bedroom, but all he could manage was to get the dog to eat the wall instead of your liver. Either a stupid poltergeist, or a stupid dog. They'll get you next time when they possess the cat. Ever wonder why the cat will just stare at you, unblinking?
shannonreneee 11
26, I blame it on poor parenting
twisted_cherub 14
Is that normal bulldog behavior? Because I'm house sitting and the owner has two of them. I don't know how to hunt heretics for them to feed on. Does the puppy know how to drain life fluid? Will the older one help him? No wonder they're refusing to eat the kibble.
DocBastard 40
Baustigt, damn you for ignoring my question. That said, the dog in your pic looks like a Hannibal Lecteresque pit bull.
DocBastard 40
What, I'm to be expected to visit profiles now to answer my burning questions? Bah!
fishyrael 29
You're the most entertaining OP I've ever seen on this site.
theusual471 8
Oh wow..I would've thought the same thing lol
marinus_fml 20
Quite the relief though, don't you think?
tootsie68 22
I'm sorry but I honestly don't see how this is an fml moment.
Senseless_487 29
Kinda strange that your imagination went straight to losing your liver.
j_cat187 20
She went from krunked to paranoid poltergeist to liver. Well just a theory anyways.
threer 30
The FML doesn't specify gender.