Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, at my bachelorette party, I got so wasted, I ended up giving my stripper a lap dance because he "wasn't doing it properly". There's photos. FML
Get out of here
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML
Life goals
Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Rookie mistake
Today, I found out the girl I lost my virginity to during prom night is pregnant with my kid. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Top comments
cameronman9 2
Does this pregnant stripper happen to be your wife?
comedybreak 20
This is why safe sex is important Guys, learn. But seriously OP it's your fault for letting her
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (249)
kelly352 0
That's gross.....
kaila332 0
Maybe u should go to a better club ._,
mapwny 4
Today, you BOUGHT a lapdance from a pregnant stripper.... woe always you!
Joui_fml 11
Someone has a preggy women fetish.
jrracer93 1
Well she must be good
DakotaAkira 13
Get it how you live
captainburke 5
Holy **** she isn't playing games
Nederlander95 14
So gently push her off? I don't understand
NandaPanda 22
Heyy, she's got to make money to support that baby somehow! Lolz
driinkbleach 18
anyone else think it's really creepy that some guys like pregnant women? What turns you on about an unborn fetus? Cuz that's what you find sexy? Having a fetus growing inside the lady? If it's your child then I can understand that; you probably feel masculine our what not for impregnating your lady